Miscarriage Management

Protocols. We had many at Planned Parenthood.  Protocols on billing, customer service, client donations, medical services, counseling…you name it, we had a protocol for it. It was my job as clinic director to know them all. And, I did.

None of the protocols were all that interesting. Well, none of them…but one.

Buried at the back of this daunting folder of protocols, there was one that wasn’t talked about that often. But we needed to have it and know it…just in case.


This protocol was simply called “Miscarriage Management.” It was preparation for when abortion made illegal. What would all of these women do if they couldn’t walk into a Planned Parenthood for an elective abortion? We had an answer for that written in this three-page protocol.


We would instruct women to take medications and/or vitamins to end their pregnancy. Some of those on the list were Vitamin C, Black or Blue Cohosh, or Misoprostol bought online. We would give them instructions on how much they needed to ingest in order to terminate their pregnancy.


We would give them warning signs…signs to help them decide if they needed to go directly to the emergency room. If everything went as planned, they would be instructed to come to our facility for an ultrasound to confirm fetal demise and an MVA (Manual Vacuum Aspiration). This would not technically be considered an abortion since the death of the child had happened outside our facility.


Of course, there would also be a fee for this “miscarriage management” service. You certainly didn’t think they would do this out of the kindness of their hearts, did you?


I want you to really mull this over in your mind. Abortion supporters are CONSTANTLY talking about “unsafe abortion.”  They are ALWAYS waving around those ridiculous coat hangers. Yet, they are willing to actually coach women on how to carry out an unsafe abortion on their own?


They could talk to these women about other options. Heck, maybe Planned Parenthood could actually become a center that provided prenatal care and adoption services. They could begin giving out material assistance to women in need. But no. Instead, they will simply help women harm themselves. Why? Because they “care” so much for women? I think not. This is simply a way for them to keep their abortion dollars coming in…even if abortion were to become legally obsolete.


If this is carried out, abortion supporters will be right. Women will be dying from ‘illegal abortions.’ Not because of the pro-life movement, but because of their own so-called “women’s rights” movement in which they’re actually causing women’s death.


“Miscarriage management.” We could also call it “How to help women carry out an illegal abortion.” I’m guessing that with the closing of all of these abortion centers, and so many states with only one abortion clinic, Planned Parenthood is dusting off this protocol.


But women deserve better than abortion…legal or illegal.

This Is Safe Abortion

We talk about “safe abortion.”  I have attached a complaint below by a woman who has now lost her fertility because of a “safe and legal abortion” committed by Dr. Douglas Karpen.  I would love to tell you that this type of complication is rare, but it is not.  I watched women almost bleed to death on our abortion tables because of our negligence.  It happens much more than the public knows.  Please read this complaint and share it.  We need the truth to get out.

Mendoza Original Petition

Texas Sized Victory!

I never thought I would get such a huge blessing on Halloween...but I did.  We found out 
on October 31st that all four parts of the Texas prolife omnibus bill will go into 
effect as planned.  Here are the components:

1. Any physician committing abortion must have privileges at a hospital within a 30 mile 
radius of where they practice. Began November 1, 2013. 
2. The RU-486 abortion procedure (medical abortion) must be provided by FDA guidelines. 
Began November 1, 2013
3. Abortions after 20 weeks gestation are no longer legal.  Began October 29, 2013. 
4. Any facility providing abortions must be licensed as an Ambulatory Surgical Center. 
Begins September 1, 2014.  

All of these regulations just make sense.  If a physician is not able to get hospital 
privileges, then I probably don't want him performing surgery on me.  It's really that 
simple.  I've never had surgery where my physician would not be able to treat me if 
complications arose.  But that is exactly what women are subjected to when they have 
an abortion.  They usually don't even know the name of the doctor that committed the 
abortion.  And if, by chance, they do, he won't be the one to care for her if she ends 
up at the hospital anyway.  Now that is what you call poor patient care.  

The RU-486 changes will include more visits to the actual physician who will give you 
the abortion medication.  What a lofty idea!!  To be able to meet and speak with the 
physician who will be giving you medication that could potentially kill you...and will, 
most definitely, kill your unborn child. Wow.  What a concept.  

I will only say one thing about the 20 week ban.  If you can't decide whether or not 
you want to have an abortion in FIVE months...then you need counseling, not an abortion.  
And don't give me some ridiculous line like, "But what if the baby is diagnosed with 
Down's Syndrome or some other syndrome that deems them imperfect?"  Um, those 
"imperfect" children have the same value as anyone else.  They don't deserve death.  

The last part of the bill is really the most detrimental to the abortion industry.  
This is the portion that will close down all but 6 abortion clinics in the state.  
It's not set to go into effect until next year.  All I can say that is that 
September 1, 2014 is going to be a HUGE day of celebration.  This section of the 
bill will be the part that most significantly reduces the number of abortions 
performed in Texas.  Requiring a facility that performs surgery to be licensed as 
an Ambulatory Surgical Center is not a crazy idea.  It's actually a very logical 
and practical idea...and increases the safety standards for women.  There are MANY 
abortion facilities in Texas that would not be able to accommodate emergency 
personnel if they were called.  They would not be able to fit a gurney into the 
hallways or rooms.  They may not even be able to fit through the front door.  This 
is a safety issue.  This portion of the bill will rectify that.  There are CURRENT 
abortion clinics that have window AC units in the rooms where abortions are committed.  
This is supposed to be a sterile environment.  That will no longer be allowed under 
these new regulations.  Facilities will have to have hospital grade HVAC systems to 
ensure sterility.  Other things include requiring life saving equipment, elevators 
that can be used during emergencies (you know, so they can safely transport patients), 
increased reporting to the state, and additional medical staff.  Aren't all of these 
shocking??!!  No, of course they aren't.  This should be standard procedure for anyone 
providing surgical services.  Thankfully, this will now be the standard for abortion 
facilities across the state. 

Will these regulations cost the abortion industry money?  Of course they will.  But 
since it is a billion dollar industry, that shouldn't be a problem.  And of COURSE 
these facilities would want to meet these higher standards because certainly their 
first priority is the safety of their patients, right?  Wrong.  The abortion industry 
has been kicking and screaming like my toddler for the past few months.  But on 
Halloween, they officially lost.  Now, that doesn't mean their tantrum is over.  
It does mean, though, that their little fits of rage will fall on deaf ears.  In 
the end, we won...babies won...mothers won...families won.  

Can I call this a victory?  Well, in the last three months, we have seen 7 Planned 
Parenthood facilities close...Burleson, Corsicana, Bryan (abortion providing), Lufkin, 
Huntsville, Midland (abortion providing) and San Angelo (abortion providing). As of 
November 1st, we have seen an additional 16 abortion facilities cease to commit abortions.  
From 42 clinics to 19 in three months...yep, I'll call that win.

September 7, 2013


September 7, 2013.  It was like I was seeing my former Planned Parenthood clinic for the first time.  The iron fence was still up.  The automatic gate keeping unwelcome guests out of the parking lot was closed.  It looked the same, yet things had drastically changed.  My former abortion clinic was now closed.  The sign had been taken down.  The doors were locked.  No one was in that building. And now, no one will ever walk through those doors seeking an abortion again.  No woman will ever be sold their lies again…not there, not in Bryan, Texas.  I had returned to my old stomping grounds to celebrate, but also to pay tribute to those who had lost their lives inside that building, including one of my own children.  I didn’t know how I would feel this day.  As I walked up on that all too familiar sidewalk, I was overcome with joy, strangely mixed with grief.  It was over.  No more children would die inside those walls.  No more women would be lied to and manipulated for Planned Parenthood’s gain. I was overwhelmed with the amount of lives I had helped to take while I was there for 8 years.  Memories of walking in and out of our back metal fence…thousands of times.  Thoughts of sitting in my office, looking out at the people praying for me…not understanding why they came out day after day.  I couldn’t stop thinking about the POC lab.  The place where babies were pieced together and discarded like trash.  I thought about my old friends.  I was sad that they faced unemployment, but elated that they were no longer participating in killing the unborn and wounding their mothers.  I prayed for them as I stood there.  Prayed that they would one day reach out for healing.  I think I even prayed for reconciliation between us.  

I had brought two roses, one read and one white.  I placed one on the fence for my own child whose life was taken by abortion inside that facility.  I placed the other in memory of the thousands of lives that had been taken by my hands, my words, my lies.  One single flower didn’t seem like enough.  But it was all I had to offer. How do you memorialize so many children?  

I was suddenly overwhelmed.  I fell to my knees, weeping for these women and children.  Hundreds of people were beginning to gather to pay tribute.  I could hear them taking pictures of me as I cried.  I closed my eyes.  This moment was not about me.  None of the work that I do is ever about me.  I was trying to tune out the noise of clicking cameras in the background.  This was my time to mourn…to really feel that loss.  

After about 15 minutes, I stood up and composed myself.  It was now time to thank everyone who had sacrificed so much to see this moment happen.  This was their dream.  So many had sacrificed so much. I was blessed to be such a small part of it.  

And so this is my prayer.  That all of you who sacrifice so much would experience this joy.  You stand and pray, with faith that the abortion clinics with close.  They WILL close.  And you will be there to witness it…to see your dreams come to fruition.  

We all have the opportunity to be a part of something that truly saves lives…40 Days for Life.  If you have never participated, I encourage you to make the committment.  No one loves praying outside an abortion clinic.  It is a sad place.  But even though it is uncomfortable, we MUST go.  We must be there to bring Christ out to these places of desperation and hopelessness.  And you will never go alone…God will be there with you.  

You may wonder if your presence outside an abortion clinic makes a difference.  Well, let me tell you what Planned Parenthood announced at the last national conference I attended.  They said this, “Our no-show rate goes up to 75% when people are outside our clinics praying.” You see, when you come to pray, you are saving lives even if you don’t know it.  Women see you and instead of pulling in the parking lot, they drive right by.  When you are on the sidewalk, women see you as an outward sign of their inward conscience.  Your presence shows them that the decision they are making is morally objectionable.  Doesn’t it feel good to know that you CAN save a baby from abortion?  But you have to show up.  You have to be present.  

I am in this movement today because of ordinary people who took on an extraordinary task.  My former abortion clinic is closed because of their sacrifice.  Babies are alive because of them.  Women are no longer being hurt by abortion in their community.  You can do this.  You can save a life.   To find a location near you, visit www.40DaysForLife.com. 

Girl Scout/Planned Parenthood Link

Cookie season is coming up.  What do we say to these cute little girls who will ask us to buy their cookies?  Well, maybe we shouldn’t SAY anything.  Maybe it would be better to just have something in hand that you could give to their moms.  Well, here is that piece of paper that you can hand out!  You will be doing these girls and their families a favor by educating them about the link between the Girl Scouts and our largest abortion provider, Planned Parenthood.

CLICK HERE —>   Girl Scouts PP link


There have been several schools of thought on how to handle abortion clinic workers.

Attempts to bribe abortion clinic workers out of the abortion industry with promises of thousands of dollars in reward money generally sends one message to clinic workers: we want to use you for what you know, and we really don’t care about your well-being, your healing process, your relationship with Christ, or your family.

This is NOT what the pro-life movement should be about.  This is certainly not what And Then There Were None (ATTWN) is about.  I started this ministry not to “get stories,” but to help people find healing and renew/begin their relationship with Christ.

ATTWN has had 80 abortion clinic workers leave the industry and come through our ministry since last June.  We did this not with bribery, not with intimidation, nor with intention to use those who come to us.  We help them pay their bills while they job hunt, get them on healing retreats, and provide them with legal aid only if they want it.  ATTWN offers a safe, confidential way out for abortion clinic workers when they’re ready to leave. That is why we are successful.

I founded the ministry specifically to change minds and convert hearts.  You cannot bribe an abortion clinic worker or pay them off to what is right—that comes from a true conversion.  Former clinic workers with converted hearts can be a huge asset to the pro-life movement, but that doesn’t mean we coerce or push them to share their stories or all the dirty little secrets of their former clinic. 

If a former abortion clinic worker wants to go public, it needs to be on their own time, on their own healing journey, if (and only if) they truly desire to speak out… not because big chunks of money are dangled in front of them.  We will continue to be here for abortion clinic workers as long as they need healing.  Conversion is our only goal.

“Whose Choice? My Choice.”

I just stood there…and cried.  I closed my eyes.  I could feel their breath on my neck.  They were yelling inches from my ear. “Whose choice? My choice.”  I had forgotten what this darkness felt like.  I opened my eyes and saw a familiar face.  It was one of my former friends from Planned Parenthood.  I smiled and waved when I saw her.  It was as if I had forgotten that we were no longer friends…not because of who I am, but because of what I now defend.  She mouthed something profane at me…very slowly so I would be sure to catch what she said.  Now I remembered.  We were not on the same side.  Our eight year long friendship was gone…no matter how much I had wished it wasn’t. 

I was standing in the largest rotunda in Texas State Capitol.  There were about five of us prolifers…thousands of people  surrounded us…people who supported abortion…people I used to be.  There were many other prolifers there, but they were in the gallery, in legislative offices, and in lines to get into the gallery.  I had to be in the middle.  I had to feel that heaviness.  Sometimes I forget what it feels like.  I need to be reminded from time to time…it reminds me why I fight so hard and what we are truly up against. 

I was at the Capitol every day.  Most of the time there wasn’t much to do.  But it was important just to be there…in our blue shirts…with our peaceful and prayerful attitude.  The abortion supporters were profane.  They were vulgar.  They had succumbed to evil and they didn’t even know it.  We had to be there.  Because when we showed up, Christ showed up. 

June 25 – I came to the Capitol with my 5 day old son.  I had written “abortion is mean” on the side of his infant carrier.  As I strolled him through the building, I was amazed at the comments from the abortion supporters. “He is so adorable,” they would say.  One woman said, “What a precious gift.” Maybe it was hormones, or maybe it was the sheer irony, but I couldn’t take it anymore.  I started to respond.  “Yes, he is beautiful.  And just 5 days ago, it would have been legal to kill him by abortion.  That’s what you are here to support.” I got no response from anyone.  Just blank stares. I walked into the gallery during the Wendy Davis show.  By that, I mean her failed filibuster.  I listened to her read story after story, lie after lie.  It was hard not to stand up and yell out the truth.  But yet, I listened and was truly amazed.  Here was this woman who clearly knew nothing about Planned Parenthood’s reality.  She had bought every line they had thrown at her.  It was pathetic to think that this hired performer, paid for by the abortion industry, was willing to sacrifice so much.  No breaks, no going to the bathroom (hence her catheter), no food, no water, nothing.  And for what?  To ensure that women have easy access to kill their children.  I could do nothing but pray for her.  A vote was taken that night…but it was two minutes too late.  The disrespectful crowd in the gallery had delayed the vote just long enough.  So, we waited for Rick Perry to make a call. 

June 26 – Perry did make the call.  He announced that there would be a 2nd special session.  We weren’t surprised, as we really have the best dang governor in the country.  We worked to rally even more troops for our side.  We knew we were going to win.  We knew we had the votes.  But we had to win the argument, too.  Talking points were being written and distributed to prolife groups.  Facebook groups were created in order to keep everyone on the same page.  People were excited.  They knew we were, once again, walking into a spiritual battle.  But this time, we had more troops…and we were armed with prayer. 

July 1 – The 2nd special session began.  Prolifers showed up in droves.  There were hardly any abortion supporters at the Capitol that day…but we knew they were coming. 

Over the next few days, the bill made its way to the final vote…through the House Committee, through the Senate Committee, through the Senate floor, through the House floor.  It was finished.  The votes had been tallied.  Texas had now passed the most restrictive prolife legislation in the country.  But it wasn’t without opposition.  The abortion supporters had come.  They had come with their vulgar signs.  They had come with their profane language.  They had come with their disrespectful attitude. And yes, they came with their used tampons and jars of feces. It was a spectacle.  They handcuffed themselves to railings.  They threw tampons in the air.  They took their bras off and waived them around.  They yelled.  They screamed.  They cursed at our children.  They were full of anger and hate.  But underneath it all, they were full of pain. 

I have felt a lot of things since leaving the abortion industry.  I have felt sadness, lots of guilt, remorse, and pain.  But honestly, I have never felt embarrassment until those days at the Texas Capitol.  And while I don’t THINK I would have thrown a used tampon on a legislator, I would have laughed when someone else did it.  I would have thought it was brilliant.  And that’s the bottom line…their mind is no longer their own.  Once evil breaks in, your thoughts, your words, and your behavior is not controlled by you.  I look back at my time with Planned Parenthood and can’t even believe some of the things that came out of my mouth. It’s like I was a different person…and, in a way, I was.  That must be our prayer…that these misguided individuals would one day become new creations in Christ.  That’s what I pray for my former friend who I saw at the Capitol.  That’s what I pray for all clinic workers.  It’s what I pray for women who have chosen abortion.  It’s what I pray for those people who stood around me in the rotunda…those who were screaming in my ears and staring at me with such evil disdain.  I pray because I know it works. 

Those days at the Texas Capitol, I had never been more proud to be prolife. We showed up and we made a difference. We put up a fight…a holy fight…a fight for Christ and His Truth.  We were united for one cause.  We were compassionate.  We were slow to anger.  We were kind.  We were merciful.  We were prayerful. We were exactly what Christ intended us to be.  And now we are being rewarded.  Abortion clinics are already closing.  Yes, we will win. 

I recently saw an article that showed Wendy Davis on the front cover.  The headline read, “Game On.”  Hmm.  With all of these clinic closures, I’m thinking it’s more like “Game Over.”   


Bryan/College Station, Texas -- The most significant 
abortion center closure -- in the 40 years of legalized 
abortion since the Roe v. Wade Supreme Court decision 
-- was made public today when Planned Parenthood Gulf 
Coast, Inc. announced that it was shutting down its 
abortion facility in Bryan/College Station, Texas after 
fifteen tumultuous years in business. 
In 2003, on the 30th anniversary of Roe v. Wade, ABC's 
Nightline spotlighted pro-life efforts in Bryan/College 
Station and said the community was "shaping the abortion 
debate" in America. Since that time, the local Planned 
Parenthood abortion facility gained worldwide notoriety as:
 * Site of the first-ever 40 Days for Life campaign in 
   2004, an effort that has since grown into a worldwide 
   pro-life mobilization of 575,000 volunteers in 501 
   cities around the globe; saving 7,536 babies from 
   abortion, closing 37 abortion centers, and helping 83 
   workers to quit their jobs in the abortion industry
 * Place where former abortion center director and 
   Planned Parenthood employee of the year Abby Johnson 
   experienced a conversion, quit her job, and became an 
   outspoken pro-life advocate, going on to found And 
   Then There Were None, a new ministry which has since 
   helped 60 other workers to leave the abortion 
   industry over the last year
 * Home of the Coalition for Life, the grassroots 
   organization which Planned Parenthood credited for 
   making the community "the most anti-choice place in 
   the nation" in which Planned Parenthood experienced 
   its "most consistent and active" opposition in the 
David Bereit, national director of 40 Days for Life,
said: "This is epic news fifteen years in the making!
Thousands of dedicated community members have faithfully 
prayed and held peaceful vigils outside this abortion 
center, offered hope and alternatives to turn away 
prospective Planned Parenthood customers, and educated 
the community about the harm of Planned Parenthood.
These efforts, combined with the decisive action of 
the Texas legislature, have finally brought about this 
closure that is an answer to prayer."
Shawn Carney, 40 Days for Life campaign director, said:
"As the birthplace of 40 Days for Life and the place 
where Abby Johnson resigned after eight years working 
for America's largest abortion chain, this is a huge 
victory for the entire pro life movement! Peaceful and 
prayerful local opposition to abortion is ending 
abortion from the grassroots up."
Bobby Reynoso, executive director of the Coalition for 
Life, said: "I was surprised when Abby Johnson walked 
through our doors back in 2009, but today I am not.
Victories like these should be expected when a community 
of faith stands up against the greatest injustice of the 
day. How little was my faith then, but today I'm reminded 
once again of how great a God we serve."
Abby Johnson, former Bryan/College Station Planned 
Parenthood abortion center director and founder of And 
Then There Were None, said: "This is what grace truly 
looks like. Knowing that the former abortion clinic I 
once ran is now closing is the biggest personal victory 
of my life. From running that facility, to then advocating 
for its closure, and now celebrating that dream ... it 
shows that my life has indeed come full circle. I am 
honored to have worked with so many who helped with my 
conversion and the closure of this facility. We will 
continue to fight until every abortion clinic in this 
country has shut its doors."
This news was also accompanied by announcements of 
closures of two other Texas Planned Parenthood centers
-- in Huntsville and Lufkin -- both of which were sites 
of 40 Days for Life campaigns.

Story from Claire Culwell

Thoughts From An Abortion Survivor On The Gosnell Case

“Kermit Gosnell was convicted of murder and given a life sentence for the murder of three babies who were born alive in his clinic along with involuntary manslaughter for the overdose of a woman undergoing a late term abortion.”

These words keep ringing in my ears. Many have linked his practice to the “aftermath of Tiller.” Tiller was a late term abortionist in Kansas who changed abortion in our country. He made abortion, specifically late term abortions, gruesome yet easily obtainable, somewhat affordable and not nearly as frowned upon in our country today!

For those who are not familiar with my story, I am a late term abortion survivor. My 13 year old birth mother had an abortion while she was pregnant with my twin and I in the 5th month of her pregnancy. The abortion was successful for my twin but not for me. When my birth mother returned to the abortion clinic still pregnant, the clinic she had originally been to referred her to a “late term abortion clinic in Kansas.”
Since the abortion was performed in 1988, we can assume that the abortion clinic she went to to obtain her 2nd abortion was Tiller’s late term clinic.
After examining my birth mother’s condition, the abortionist was unable to do the 2nd abortion because the risks were fatal.

Had my birth mother been pregnant these days, she surely would have found someone similar to Gosnell, who mimicked Tillers practices, to “finish the job.” Surely I wouldn’t be here and neither would my beautiful 3 month old daughter and possibly even my birth mother.

This past week I was studying Romans with my dad as he prepared for a missions trip. One of the verses read “Christ died for the ungodly.” That means me. That means you. And it struck me…that means Tiller AND Gosnell!

I have always wanted to go meet the man or woman who performed my birth mothers abortion, the person that took my twins life. I want to tell that person that they are forgiven…not only by me but by a God who died to save them. I want  to show them pictures of my childhood and my daughter…the amazing pieces of my life that would not have happened if abortion had been safe and successful. I want to tell them about my birth mother; a beautiful woman who was robbed of her childhood at 13 because of abortion. I want to tell them of the joys of life, love and happiness that is available for their life too!

I won’t get this chance with Tiller but there are still many doctors modeling Tiller’s abortion practices. These are the doctors I pray for. These are the doctors I will have forgiveness for and these are the doctors that I hope one day have joy, love, a conviction to protect all life, and accept the forgiveness of The Lord.

Please join me in prayer. Instead of praying for them to get what they “deserve”, pray for Kermit Gosnell and others to get what they don’t deserve. After all, we were given the ultimate gift that we don’t deserve; freedom and forgiveness in Christ.

To learn more about Claire’s story or to have her speak, visit www.claireculwell.com.

Tell Me…What Do I Deserve?

I am vehemently against the death penalty. Now stay with me…this is not a post about my opinion regarding that. You can disagree or agree with me on that some other time. I did want to share a little bit about why I take the words of prolifers so seriously. I have heard so much vitriol spewed from the mouths of “Christian prolifers” since the Gosnell trial has concluded. I feel like I must address it.

When I was confirmed as a Catholic, I chose Mary Magdalene as my confirmation saint. I felt an immediate connection to her. She had sinned so much…and was forgiven in even greater amounts. She knew she didn’t deserve forgiveness…but she received it anyway. And because of this, she clung to Christ. She knew she was nothing without Him.

I have also done my fair share of sinning. And I have also been forgiven much more than I deserve. I abused and betrayed women in the worst possible way. I convinced them to kill their children. Did I slit the necks of children after they were born? No. But, I was an accomplice to murder. Thousands of times…women I knew, women I didn’t, my friends, even my family. I lied to people. I lied to women when they came to me for accurate information. I was among the worst sinners…those that help to take and destroy life. I am no better than Kermit Gosnell.

I took my own children’s lives…twice. Not because I was coerced. Not because I didn’t know better. But because I thought children would be an inconvenience to my lifestyle. I am responsible for their deaths…no one else.

So when someone talks about Gosnell and says things like, “murderers and people like him don’t deserve to breathe the same air as I do,” or “I hope he burns in hell,” it hurts a little. Because that was me. But I am still here…breathing that same air…and trying to spend my life righting my wrongs. And it’s not just me. I know they hurt others like me, as well. People who have left the abortion industry and will work every day to recover from their sins. People who are still in the industry and think they will be shunned by the pro-life movement…maybe they would reach out to us if they knew we would accept them. I am always terrified that clinic workers will see some of the words from prolifers. I have been told by several former workers that they will NEVER come forward with their stories because they are so scared of how they will be treated by us…by US…the supposed “Christian” movement. Their fears are real AND legitimate.

I know some will say, “but you repented, that is the difference.” But what if I hadn’t…not yet. What if I was still inside the abortion industry? What if I was still an accomplice to murder? What if it took me longer to realize the truth? Do I deserve to die? Are we saying repentance is about our timing? Certainly, it is not about us. It about God and His perfect timing.

Right now, I shouldn’t be in this movement. I should be the COO of the 4th largest revenue generating Planned Parenthood affiliate in the country. I should be overseeing the largest abortion facility in the Western Hemisphere. I should be making 6 times the amount of money that I make in the pro-life movement. But I’m not. Why? Because of forgiveness. Because of mercy. Because of grace. Because of God. And because of REAL pro-lifers. The people I turned to accepted me for me…baggage and all. They knew that I was a broken person, and they loved me anyway. They knew I needed significant healing, and they helped to provide it.

I remember one story in particular which always makes me tear up when I think about it. One of the ladies, Karen, that immediately befriended me after I left Planned Parenthood was asked a question by a reporter. He asked her, “So, what was Abby like before she became pro-life? I mean, how nasty was she?” Karen’s answer was so genuine, and so Christ-like. She simply said, “I don’t remember that person. She is a new creation in Christ. I won’t talk about her past, I only want to talk about her future.” Wow. What grace. What forgiveness. She could have really spilled the beans on me, but she chose not to. Why? Because she truly loved me…and she always had, even while I was working at Planned Parenthood. She always believed the best in me, always believed that my conversion would happen.

It was Christ who changed me. It was the merciful and compassionate words of His people. It was no condemnation. It was not prayers that I would burn in hell. It was not those who yelled and called me names. It was the words of people like Karen. Those who prayed that I would, one day, walk out of that clinic. Those who had constant faith…even when that faith was a struggle to have. I am here because of THEM and because of their Christ-like witness.

Don’t we want that for every abortion clinic worker and abortion provider? Don’t we want that for Kermit Gosnell? I smile every time I imagine his conversion. What a heavenly victory that will be! Can it happen? If you say no, then you do not know the God that I do. My God is in the business of miracles. And my God does not want anyone to suffer in hell. He wants ALL of his children to come to him…yes, even those of us “monsters” that are in or have been in the abortion industry.

Hate comes from hell. Mercy comes from Christ. When we have hate in our hearts, our spirits are damaged. Be careful with your words. Not only are you a living witness of Christ and His truth, but you could put your own soul at risk. “Anyone who hates a brother or sister is a murderer, and you know that no murderer has eternal life residing in him.” 1 John 3:15 When we hate, we are no better than those who kill.

I am not the sweetest person. I’m not the one who catches all the flies with honey…sometimes I am all vinegar. What do you expect? You expect the most tender hearted to work in the abortion industry? Maybe we aren’t like all of you. Maybe we aren’t the most kind-hearted. Maybe you don’t understand how we could do what we have done. But those of us that leave…we are fighters. We are willing to take hits for our former sins. We are willing to stand up in places that are uncomfortable. We are willing to be bruised by others because we know that we have to…we know that will be the price we pay…it just hurts more when the bruises come from those who should be rejoicing in our repentance. We are passionate. We don’t waste time beating around the bush…not when it comes to life…especially the lives that we helped take.

Those of us that have worked in the industry all live our lives with a constant burden. One that will not be free from us until we reach heaven. We can’t let our burden slide off of our shoulders…it is what keeps us on fire. It reminds us of why we fight so hard. We have seen death and evil in a way that most haven’t…and we participated. We are forgiven.

So, should I be able to “breathe the same air as you?” That’s not really up to me to decide. But if you say things like that, know that a small piece of our heart is broken, and I have to believe that it grieves Christ. But even if you break our hearts, we forgive you. Even if you bruise us, we forgive you. He who has been forgiven much, loves much. And we love a lot. I am eagerly awaiting the day when I can call Kermit Gosnell a former and REPENTANT abortion provider.