For eight years I helped kill unborn babies. How did I not see the truth?

A couple of months ago, my husband and I went to the theater to watch “The Giver.” I had heard it had a pro-life message, so I was pretty excited to see it.

It was an intense movie. Well, it was for me, anyway.

If you haven’t seen it yet, I highly recommend that you watch it. It’s a movie about a futuristic type of life where there is no emotion, no love, no hate, no war, and no death. Sure, people die, but they don’t call it death…they call it “going elsewhere.”

It's a society where only the “best” people are kept. Those who are unable to contribute are sent to “elsewhere.” Those who are elderly are sent to “elsewhere.” And yes, babies who do not pass specific infant evaluations are also sent to “elsewhere.”

The whole plot is too complicated to explain in this article, but basically a young man is given the power to see emotion. He is able to love. He is also able to see the truth about sending people to “elsewhere.” He realizes they are killing people. One of the best lines in the movie is when this young man says, “They haven't eliminated murder. They just call it by a different name." Hmm. Similar to our society with abortion.

Anyway, this young man realizes that his father is one of the people killing these babies. In the scene of this realization, he is furious. He is shouting things like, “How can he do this? He is killing them!” An older man looks at him and says, “He doesn’t see it. He doesn’t see what he is doing.”

That scene shook me to my core. Five years ago, that was me. I was killing babies. And I also didn’t see it. I watched the rest of the movie, but couldn’t get those words out of my head. I didn’t see it.

There are a few fairly common questions that you receive when you leave the abortion industry. How did you not see that it was a baby? How did you not realize that you were killing babies? How did you see these babies in the POC lab and not leave? (The POC lab is where the fetal body parts are put back together after an abortion). How did you have a baby and not see the problem in what you were doing?

My answer…

I don’t know. I don’t know. I don’t know. I really don’t know. Guys, I don’t know. It doesn’t make sense. I don’t understand it. I know I’m a smart person, and somehow I was duped by the abortion industry for eight years. Why did it take so long for me to see the truth? I don’t know.

The fact is, I don’t have the answers to these questions only affirms that we are fighting a spiritual battle. We are fighting evil and evil will literally blinds you to the truth. Our sin blinds us to the evil it produces. 

You see, as an abortion clinic worker, I experienced evil in a way that most have not (praise be to Our Lord). I have physically experienced evil. I have touched it when I pieced these tiny babies back together. I have seen it in those little glass dishes that I dumped their bodies into. I have heard it as the suction machine violently pulled these tiny bodies out of their mother’s wombs. And yes, I will go as far to tell you that I have even smelled it. Abortion has a very specific smell, one that you will never forget.

When evil comes into your life in such a real and tangible way, it changes you. You know what though? You don’t even see it. You truly don’t realize what you are doing.

And then one day you do. That blindness you were once veiled with is lifted from your eyes. This isn’t removed by human hands, but by the hand of the Holy Spirit.

So my question is this? How can we condemn those who are truly blinded by evil? We can’t. Maybe we're blinded by our own specific evil such as gossip, lying or some other evil. We shouldn't be condemning anyone. We don’t know the secrets of their heart. We can only guide others to God by informing them, but in order to do that we need to be living examples of virtue.

We also need to approach those situations with others committing evils acts carefully. We need to pray for them, but we also need to pray for God to reveal to us how we are to proceed with them. Any good we do is because of God. He is all that is good, so go to the source. Besides, are we in this for Him or for ourselves?

How do we bring about conversion of those living in blindness? This is accomplished with love, charity towards our neighbor. We offer forgiveness by truth in charity. By offering forgiveness, we offer mercy. We need to pray for them and for ourselves in how we interact with them. Everyone has the power to change, so hope in God alone in all things.

I’ve heard pro-lifers yell at abortion clinic workers that they should “REPENT!!!” Repent of what? They don’t understand see what they are doing as something that needs to be repented of. Why? Because they are blinded by the evil. Do you think yelling at them will remove that blindness? Unlikely.

Is that how God inspires us to repent? Not exactly. It’s possible He might use those things to change us, but God is patient, love, and goodness itself. He extends His mercy to those who ask for it and live it out in their own lives.

These worker’s don’t see it. They don’t know what they are doing. That sounds familiar, doesn't it?

“Father forgive them, for they know not what they do!” You see, Christ recognized spiritual blindness in others, and even prayed for His enemies. How is it, yet we are not able to see? That is part of our own blindness. Christ gave us the perfect example of how we should treat those who truly don’t know. We pray for them. We forgive them. We love them. We extend mercy to them.

There are those, while claiming to be devout, think they know better than Christ. Blindness. Making ourselves the authority is to place ourselves alongside the devil, God is our master, not ourselves.

We’ve all been blinded or are currently being blinded by some sort of sin whether it’s mortal or venial. All sin is an offense towards God. Would we want to be judged the way in which we judge others? "...Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us..."

We are all afflicted with our own spiritual blindness. That’s what sin does to us, and we all sin. We are all guilty of the blood of Christ when we sin, over and over again. We hold the whips, the nails, the hammer, the rope… all of it that caused His affliction was due to our own sins and we deepen His wounds when we continue to sin. 

We would do better to look into our own hearts and deal with our own sin before we condemn the sins of others or else when we do correct others we would appear as hypocrites.

Does this mean we don’t judge right from wrong? No. Of course not.

I’m not talking about taking a stand on moral absolutes. We must do it to defend our rights and the rights of those who aren’t able to defend themselves.

Is abortion absolutely wrong? Yes. Are the people who work in these facilities absolutely evil? No. Why? Well, because Because they have the ability to change. They have the ability to receive the love and forgiveness of Christ. Abortion does not change. Murder under any name is still murder. It always ends the life of another human being. Since we did not create them and were not given the authority to do so, it is wrong.

Murder is always violating the rights of an individual person. Nothing will ever change about that. Abortion clinic workers can change. And they do change. I am a prime example of that because I changed. We have 132 clinic workers in our ministry, And Then There Were None,  who have changed.

Don’t ever doubt the power of God to change any heart. As long as a person lives it is possible to change. Let’s extend love to those He may be working on. Let’s not do anything to disrupt His hard work.

They will know we are Christians by our LOVE. Hate begets hate. Love begets love. Let’s choose to love and to love well.

 

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