Whole Woman's Health Exposed

And Then There Were None, a group founded by former Planned Parenthood clinic director Abby Johnson helping abortion industry employees leave their jobs, obtained detailed inspection reports revealing dozens of health code violations levied against Whole Woman’s Health, which is currently operating 4 abortion facilities in Texas. 

Whole Woman’s Health is a chain of abortion facilities with most locations stationed in Texas, with other clinics also located in Maryland, Minnesota, and Illinois. Whole Woman’s Health went to court as the plaintiff in the 2016 Supreme Court case Whole Woman’s Health v. Hellerstedt.

Whole Woman’s Health won their case. Their win, consequently, resulted in reversing and remanding the laws in Texas that would have required abortion facilities to meet common health and safety standards, for abortionists to have admitting privileges to a hospital within 30 miles of the facility, and for abortion clinics to have readily available facilities that are equivalent to an ambulatory surgical center. 

As is common in the abortion industry, making a hefty profit is the bottom line and must be achieved over anything else, including the health and safety of patients,” said Abby Johnson, “The reports we obtained show a blatant disregard for women’s health and safety as well as the safety of the abortion workers themselves, on the part of Whole Woman’s Health. Women deserve this information.”

Before the Supreme Court decided in favor of Whole Woman’s Health, the abortion facility in Austin was closed and was put up for sale. Abby Johnson toured that facility as a prospective buyer, snapping photos of what appears to be blood on the walls and dirty equipment. 

I was appalled at the state of the Austin Whole Woman’s Health,” said Ms. Johnson, “It looked more like a prison than an actual facility where patients went for healthcare. Disgusting does not do it justice.” 

Listed below are some examples of the various health violations discovered at Whole Woman’s Health facility centers from 2011-2017, according to inspection reports: 

· Failed to properly disinfect and sterilize instruments that were used from woman to woman 

· Failed to provide a safe and sanitary environment – products of conception were being examined and contaminated instruments were being washed in the same room 

· Emergency cart contained expired supplies and medications 

· Cracks, rips, and tears on the vinyl covers of exam tables 

· There was a hole in the cabinet flooring that had “the likelihood to allow rodents to enter the facility” 

· Suction machines had numerous rusty spots having the “likelihood to cause infection” 

 

“No wonder Whole Woman’s Health took their case all the way to the Supreme Court. They needed to win in order to keep their doors open and make money. They had everything to lose if they didn’t win,” said Ms. Johnson. 

To speak to Abby Johnson at And Then There Were None, please contact Kristina Hernandez at 908-902-8473.

 

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ATTWN Billboard Campaign

COLORADO SPRINGS, CO (SEPTEMBER 11, 2017) – Billboards have been placed in three locations in Colorado Springs, Colorado urging people who work in the abortion industry to quit their jobs. 

The locations of the billboards are at 1000 W Fillmore St. and 311 W Colorado Ave. The billboards will run over the course of one month, from now until early October, and are expected to reach about 532,000 people in the vicinity. 

“Entering into the Colorado Springs market is a key component of our strategy of reaching as many abortion workers as possible with our message that we are there for them and can help them when they want to leave their jobs,” said Abby Johnson, a former Planned Parenthood director who now runs And Then There Were None (ATTWN). 

According to the Guttmacher Institute, there were about 13,160 abortions in 2014. Additionally, late-term abortionist Warren Hern is based in Colorado, as is Planned Parenthood of the Rocky Mountains, the second largest Planned Parenthood affiliate nationally. 

The billboards read “NO ONE GROWS UP WANTING TO WORK IN AN ABORTION CLINIC. WE CAN GET YOU OUT. WWW.ABORTIONWORKER.COM”

ATTWN is a Texas-based nonprofit that launched in 2013 working with people across the United States. The organization’s mission is to end abortion from the inside out, helping abortion workers quit their jobs, and even provides them with career counseling, financial help, spiritual direction, and psychological aid. From the beginning of ATTWN's, over 375 abortion workers have quit their jobs in the abortion industry. All services provided by ATTWN are free of charge. 

“We are excited about the prospect of reaching more abortion workers than ever with our new billboards in Colorado Springs,” said Johnson. “I never wanted to work in an abortion clinic when I was growing up – and neither did many of our former abortion workers. We all thought it would be different, that we would be helping people, but it was the complete opposite – we were hurting far too many women who came through our doors.” 

“We will be there every step of the way for abortion workers who want to quit. We love quitters,” said Johnson. For more information, please see www.abortionworker.com.

To speak with Abby Johnson, please contact Kristina Hernandez at 908-902-8473.

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A Comprehensive Look at Contraception

I wrote a series of articles about contraception that I encourage all of you to read. They may challenge you. I hope they do. Prolifers need to know that contraception is NOT okay. You can NOT say that you believe that life begins at conception and then support the use of hormonal methods. You can read more about hormonal birth control here

The second article discusses the idea that has been sold to women for so long, which is hormonal birth control is the only way to "fix" our reproductive problems such as endometriosis, PCOS, and more. What we’re told is healthy is actually breaking us. Hormonal birth control doesn't fix anything. Read more on this issue here.

The third article talks about the physical side effects that occur due to birth control, and as sad as it is to say these side effects can be deadly. Follow the link for more information here.

Many times, we hear that contraception reduces abortion. But the fourth article actually shows that to be a contradiction to what we are told. For more information click here.

 

 

How to Get Hired at Planned Parenthood. For Real.

Recently, Cosmopolitan Magazine (otherwise known as Planned Parenthood’s pimps) published yet another article promoting Planned Parenthood. This time, they interviewed a human resources manager. The reason? To give people advice on how to get hired at a Planned Parenthood facility.

My first thought was, “Wow. This is pathetic.” My second thought was, “Wow. They must be desperate for employees.” I worked for a Planned Parenthood facility for eight years. I was the clinic director, so I was also responsible for hiring and firing employees. Human resource work was an everyday part of my routine.

This Cosmopolitan article was written in a Q&A format. I found some of Planned Parenthood’s answers to be a little less than honest. So, since I worked for Planned Parenthood for so long and ran the inside of their abortion and family planning clinics I thought I would give more thorough and honest answers to people who may be seeking employment with the organization.

First, you should know that Planned Parenthood is the largest abortion provider in the United States alone, not to mention they have established other Planned Parenthood locations across the globe. This means that they are deliberately taking the lives of more people than any other entity in our country and in others across the globe. They say that it takes a certain amount of “passion” to work inside their organization, but really it only takes willful ignorance and the ability to pretend that you are helping women by killing their children.

Now for the questions.

1. What qualities do you look for in every candidate?

Planned Parenthood is looking for vulnerable people, primarily women, to work for them. They REALLY love single moms because they are desperate to put food on the table in order to make ends meet. This category of prospective candidate is typically willing to do almost anything to take care of their children, even if it means compromising their own morals.

Planned Parenthood is also interested in finding people that will stay long term with their organization because let’s be honest, former Planned Parenthood employees are incredibly willing to reveal all of the organizations corrupt practices, and that is REALLY annoying for them.

All this Planned Parenthood is interested in is finding timid people who will keep their mouths closed about the dirty things they witness there. Timidity is also important because if you do ever decide to leave, they will send a really threatening letter to your home stating that they will take you to court if you ever talk about what you have seen since working with their organization. They need that letter in order to scare you into being silent.

2. How often do you hire new people?

Planned Parenthood has one of the highest turnover rates in this country. So, the answer to that question is basically all of the time. People are constantly coming and going like a revolving door. You might be hired at a clinic, but after the first six months you could end up working with an entirely different group of people. So, I hope you’re not looking to get into this job to make friends. As soon as you get to know someone, they will leave. It’s a challenge to retain people when your job is to kill babies for a living.

3. What do you expect candidates to know about the company before an interview?

Honestly, you don’t have to know anything and you’re definitely not expected to know anything. They are so desperate for employees that they will usually just hire you right there on the spot. They can’t really take the risk being too picky anyway with their high turnover rates.

4. Where do you recruit candidates?

Planned Parenthood, being the bottom feeders they are, thrive off of vulnerable women. They usually do the majority of their recruiting from college campuses. If they can convince you to drop out of college and work for them full-time, then that is even better because you don’t actually need any type of degree to work for Planned Parenthood anyway (we will get to that in a minute). They also do a lot of recruiting in poor neighborhoods. Earlier I mentioned that they really like preying on single moms. They post bright colored ads in laundromats, community centers, WIC offices, Medicaid offices, etc. Wherever vulnerable women go, so too is where Planned Parenthood will be to try to sniff them out.

5. How do you use social media for recruiting potential employees?

They don’t. They only use social media to promote their false agenda and of course to promote all of these other groups that love abortion as much as they do. They won’t talk about abortion at all on social media. It’s all part of their game. It would be bad news for them if their followers decided to wake up and realize that Planned Parenthood is really only interested in pushing and selling abortion. Instead, they post about benign topics such as obtaining tax funded birth control or getting tested for STDs. But remember, according to Planned Parenthood’s booklet, “Healthy, Happy and Hot”. If you have an STD, even HIV, you totally don’t have to concern yourself with disclosing your status to anyone you plan to have sex with (See page 3).

6. What types of jobs are available for recent graduates?

Don’t worry, there are plenty of jobs to choose from. Let’s see, you could be trained by them on how to normalize abortion to women who come in for “options counseling.” You could be trained to become a POC (products of conception) technician, which consists of piecing the parts of aborted babies back together to ensure women don’t get a fatal infection.

You could also be trained on billing Medicaid for fraudulent charges and other federal and state programs. You can definitely be taught how to sell abortion better than a slick-haired used car salesman can sell you a clunker. You’ll even learn all of the fun lingo that comes with working in an abortion clinic. For example, the staff always jokes that POC stands for “parts of children” and the freezer where we stored all of the dead babies was called “the nursery.”

You will even be shown the way to completely dodge the risks of abortion, stating that they don’t want to “scare women” by revealing all of the facts to them. You will also be taught how to conveniently fail to mention all of the side effects from the hormonal birth control that they shove down their patient’s throat. They can train you the way to insert an IUD on their patients to cause an early abortion.

You can even learn from them how to fudge your inspection logs because it would cause a mess for them if the inspectors discovered that they’re not actually sterilizing the instruments properly. You could be trained by them on how to go into the schools and teach kindergarteners graphic sexual positions using stuffed animals. You could even have them train you on how to perform medical procedures that is pretty illegal for you to be performing without a license.

I mean, the list is endless. If you want to learn how to completely disrespect the intelligence and integrity of women then Planned Parenthood is the place for you!

7. Do you have an internship program?

Oh, yes. In fact, their internship programs are very important to Planned Parenthood. It’s the best way to brainwash young and vulnerable women into becoming robots for the cause of “reproductive health.” You only want to show interns a good time by feeding them pizza, taking them on bus trips that include tons of liquor, give them talking points so they can repeat them over and over again like a parrot, give them TONS of hot pink t-shirts (because let’s be honest, every gal loves hot pink), dress them up all professional-like and send them to the Capitol where they will walk around all day and do nothing (then you have to convince them that they just saved women’s rights), and finally, have them make up snazzy pro-choice chants, like “Hey, hey, mister, mister, Get your laws off my sister!”

But, let’s not show them the “real” Planned Parenthood and what they are really all about. They need these interns to see how “fun” Planned Parenthood is so they can share the good news and hot pink t-shirts with their friends!

8. Do most full-time positions require a specific degree?

No, of course not. This is Planned Parenthood, not some medical clinic. Oh, wait… it is a medical clinic. Well, they don’t concern themselves with the logistics pertaining to that. Licenses, certifications, and degrees only get in the way anyway. Not to mention that those kinds of people require more money and that is really inconvenient for their bottom line.

So, no. No degree needed to work at a Planned Parenthood facility. So, if you’re interested in performing ultrasounds on women, not a problem! You don’t even have to have a high school diploma to do that! They will provide some on the job training (that lasts about an hour) and then you’re all set to perform transvaginal ultrasounds on women who come in.

Do you want to draw blood? No certificate needed! Planned Parenthood is all about cutting out the middle-man regarding “health care”. You can just practice on your co-workers until you feel like you are “good enough” at sticking people.

Want to take on that highly regarded position of POC technician? Well, you will have to earn that. Not just anyone can piece baby parts back together. But, don’t worry because Planned Parenthood has more options for you like if you’re interested in working in the recovery room where you will listen to women sob after their abortion is complete. You definitely don’t need any sort of education.

Just keep your sight set on no one starting to hemorrhage or anyone that has a serious medical complication since you unqualified to be providing medical care. I’m sure they will eventually hear you screaming for a doctor once they turn the suction machine off, but whatever you do, just remember that you don’t call 911 at Planned Parenthood. That would be really bad press, especially with all of those anti-choice protestors outside. The abortion industry can’t have people thinking that abortion may actually be dangerous for women.

9. What types of questions do you typically ask in an interview?

They will ask how much you know about Planned Parenthood. They love it when people don’t know much about their organization. That gives them the opportunity to give you the information they want you to hear.

Basically, if you had enough coherency to show up to the interview and fill out the application by yourself, then the job is yours. No resume needed or experience needed. Heck, you can even say that you are prolife. They will still hire you with the promise that you won’t ever have to work “in the back,” but eventually they will break that promise once they see that you are more comfortable with abortion.

10. Is it okay to bring up salary?

Absolutely! Planned Parenthood has TONS of money, so make sure you aim high because killing babies for money brings in a huge profit; over half a billion dollars a year, to be more accurate. The other half a billion dollars they bring in comes from your tax money anyway! It’s totally acceptable to ask for some of that back in your hourly wage.

There’s also some other perks that they might not mention during the interview. If you happen to find yourself pregnant while working at Planned Parenthood, you can get a free abortion. That’s a savings of at least $400.

If you find out that you have contracted genital herpes, no worries. You can just illegally grab some pills from their back stash of medication. Don’t stress, everybody’s doing it. If they really didn’t want you to take it, they would lock up their meds like they are supposed to.

If they try to low ball you, just remind them that you know how much money they bring in every year. And, you can also let them know that Abby Johnson informed you about their $22 million dollar endowment that is just so happens to be sitting in the bank gaining more than a half a million dollars in interest every year. You can also let them know that a little birdy (named Abby Johnson) told you that Warren Buffet gives them over $23 million dollars a year to provide abortion services. It’s a great way to show them that you’re no dummy and they aren’t going to pull the wool over your eyes.

11. What’s a mistake people make in interviews all the time and don’t know it?

The biggest mistake you, or anyone you know, can make is showing up. This is NOT a place where you want to work. Unfortunately, it took me eight years to figure that out., but you can be smarter than me. You can decide that Planned Parenthood is a corrupt and disgusting organization that doesn’t deserve you before you even walk through their doors.

No one grows up wanting to work in the abortion industry. And, no matter how many pap smears they perform, the lives of the more than 327,000 innocent children that they killed only in the last year can never be replaced. The amount of people that have died at the hands of Planned Parenthood doesn’t even include the women they allow to die on their abortion tables. You deserve better than Planned Parenthood. You deserve better than abortion.

If you’re currently working in the abortion industry and want to leave, then please visit my website AbortionWorker. We can, and we will, help you leave.

 

My Biggest Mistake

Recently, I was asked by a college ministry to write about my one biggest mistake. I’ve been racking my brain to try and narrow it down to JUST one. I mean, let’s be honest, I’ve made a lot of them. Then, it suddenly hit me like a ton of bricks. My biggest mistake was immodesty. Immodesty in the way I dressed, immodesty in my behavior, and immodesty in my words.

I really didn’t start living an immodest lifestyle until I went to college. After all, when I lived under my parent’s roof things were very controlled. When I went to school I lived by the standards I chose because I could.. I was able to dress however I wanted, I could speak however I wanted, I could behave however I wanted.

So, I did.

I started by dressing immodestly, which led me to an unhealthy desire for attention from men. In turn, that led to a lot of partying. The partying led to tons of drinking, which of course, led to bad decision making. Part of my bad decision making led to becoming sexually active with guys that I dated (maybe). Eventually, all of that sex led to an unplanned pregnancy.

That unplanned pregnancy led to my first abortion. Since I had sufficiently justified the sin of my abortion I was eager to work inside the abortion industry, which only furthered my sins and justifications. Now, I shared this dirty secret with a man who was a complete loser. Not only did we share that secret, but we shared a bond through sexual intimacy.

I mistakenly took that sexual bond for love and ended up marrying him. Since my new husband didn’t respect God, me, or sex, he ended up cheating on me. That led to a quick (Hollywood type) marriage, which ended in divorce. Even though the marriage was never good from the beginning, I heartbroken nonetheless. At that point, I carried the label “divorcee” with me wherever I went. That led to embarrassment.

That embarrassment led to panic when I found out I was pregnant with my ex-husband’s child. Since I couldn’t stand him and I didn’t want anything to do with him, I decided to have another abortion. By this point, I had already been immersed in the Planned Parenthood abortion culture. That second abortion only deepened my resolve for the “right to choose.” That deepened resolve led me to quickly rise through the ranks of our country’s largest abortion provider, Planned Parenthood.

See there? See how my life could have been totally different? Hindsight is 20/20.

Don't get me wrong, I’m not the type of gal who sits around and focuses on the “what ifs.” In the end, those don’t matter. What really matters is what you do with your life once come to the realization of how wrong you have been.

But, let’s just go there for a sec. What if I had protected my body, my mind, and my heart from immodesty?

It’s possible I wouldn’t have ever engaged in that sexual relationship that led me to becoming pregnant in the first place. It wouldn’t have led me to the abortion clinic. And, maybe if I hadn’t chosen abortion, I wouldn’t have felt compelled to work in the abortion industry. And, then maybe I wouldn’t have participated in taking the lives away from 20,000 unborn babies.

Who knows? Maybe it wouldn’t have mattered. My guess, is if I would have respected myself more, if I had valued my sexuality, I wouldn’t have become entangled in those situations in the first place.

I don’t want to lecture or scold you. And, I don’t want you to think that you have to dress and act like some socially awkward homeschooled kid. Just be mindful. Who are you trying to attract with your clothing, your behavior, and your words?

This isn’t just a lesson for women, either. You aren’t getting off the hook here, guys. Women dress and behave like they do primarily because that’s what they think YOU want. Show them that you want something different. Show them that you want a woman who is virtuous, who strives for modesty, who lives to please God over man. I bet that if men changed the way they acted towards women, women’s behavior would also change. Just a thought.

I am incredibly blessed with a wonderful husband and four amazing kiddos. I have a job that I love. I couldn’t ask for a better life. However, my life is also filled with the mistakes from my past, mistakes that I will live with for the rest of my life.

Seek better things. Seek Godly things. Seek honorable things. Don’t waste your life trying to conform to society. It’s much cooler to be different anyway.

Healing in Public

My healing story is not an ideal one. There was no time to grieve, to reflect, or to even be alone. Less than a month after I left the abortion industry, my face was on national news. It was like being shot out of a cannon. The one break I had was the amazing media training from Planned Parenthood. At the very least, when I was on TV I didn’t look like a bumbling idiot.

My first moment of healing came on October 23, 2009, at 10pm, when I went back to my old clinic. I stood out there and faced my egregious sin for the first time. It was then, out on that dark sidewalk, that I realized my brokenness, my wretchedness. However, even as I dropped to my knees sobbing over this realization, I wasn’t alone.

There alongside me were two pro-lifers, praying. After they learned who I was and why I was there, they were ecstatic, to say the least. And, while they were literally dancing over their thanksgiving, I was face down on the ground with my fingers gripping the freshly cut grass, and my tears dripping down like rain.

Two weeks later, I was in court against Planned Parenthood. I witnessed my best friends take the stand and lie about me. I watched them cry as they were caught in their lies, over and over again, by my attorney. I saw the hurt on their faces. I knew they felt like they had no other choice. And, in that moment of betrayal I chose to forgive them, but I haven’t spoken to them since then.

One week after the court case brought against me by  Planned Parenthood was dismissed I was invited to speak on dozens of national news shows. I told my story, I answered their questions, and I tried to be as raw and honest as possible. The media continued for several months. The result of all of the media led to requests from prolife groups across the country for my testimony.

At my first event I gave a speech, a month after the media explosion, and I spoke for two hours. I had so much to say, so much to get off my heart, so much to expose. Everyone had questions. And, down in the warm basement of a church in New York, in front of over 100 people, I received a little more healing.

I continued to speak and each time I experienced that much more healing. Sometimes, I would speak and memories would pop into my mind when I was on stage. At times, those memories were so powerful it made it hard to finish my talk.

I had prayed that there would be someone out there like me, a former clinic worker who would be interested in mentoring me and in sharing their wisdom. There was one woman who was actually here in Texas and I wanted so badly for her to help me on my journey, but instead of embracing me, she only recognized me as competition and rejected me.

I found myself so lost and overwhelmed by this media storm. To be honest, even though the people around me were supportive and wanted to help how they could, I knew that they had no idea what it was like to experience what I had experienced.

Fifteen months after I left Planned Parenthood, my book was published. Writing proved to be incredibly healing. Publicly sharing those intimate memories and moments in my book was more healing than I ever could have imagined.

I realized that I still needed to heal from my past abortions. So, I went through just about every post abortion bible study known to man, and I healed a little bit more. I was at peace about my own abortions. I knew they were wrong. I regretted both of those decisions, but I knew I could move on from those memories, those two grievous mistakes.

About two and a half years after I had left the industry I started an organization for people like me, workers who wanted to leave the abortion industry, but felt like they had nowhere to go. I didn’t know if it would be successful, but God continues to amaze me.

Ever since And Then There Were None was established in June of 2012, we have helped 139 abortion clinic workers through our ministry looking for support, healing, and compassion. They were able to find a safe place in us, and hopefully we have helped them find forgiveness in Christ. Every time we hold a healing retreat for the workers in our ministry I am also healed just a little bit more. These men and women, these beautiful and courageous people, have brought me more healing and comfort than they will ever know.

Now, it’s been over five years since I walked out of Planned Parenthood’s doors, and I can honestly say that I have never looked back. I have never wondered if I made the right decision. I have never questioned my decision to leave. I know it was the right decision.

Many of you, in these past five years, have walked through this journey with me. You have seen me heal. Many of you have seen me stand up on a stage and cry when I shared my story. And yes, you have seen me screw up, lots of times. Some people had mercy on me when I messed up. Some people did not. You know what they say, right? Christians are often the worst at wounding our wounded.

In August 2013, my former Planned Parenthood clinic closed its doors. No more women would be harmed inside those clinic walls. No more babies would be killed on their tables. And, in September 2013, we held a “celebration” outside the clinic. That was a heavy day for me. Yes, there was some happiness, but I mostly felt sorrow.

The struggle over that facility had finally come to an end. I’ll never know how many babies lost their lives inside that clinic, but I do know that one of them was my own child. I had aborted one of my own babies in that facility. I could only see one more piece to close that chapter of my life, I wanted to walk through that empty building one last time. I wanted to hold my husband’s hand and relive those memories, only so I could finally put them to rest. I wanted to walk in each room and pray. I just wanted that closure.

I was so overcome with emotion when the local pregnancy center and another national prolife group who bought the building told me that I would be able to have that time to heal. I had been preparing my heart for that walk-through. I knew that it would be emotional. I was nervous because I honestly didn’t know what to expect.

You might be able to imagine my devastation when my husband received a text message stating that we were no longer allowed to go and walk through the building. This was their media moment and as it turns out they didn’t want me to take away any of their spotlight. I was crushed. These people who had stood beside me and pushed out my story when I left were now ripping this opportunity of healing from me.

My family now lives in Austin, but I had an appointment this past week in College Station. After I was finished, I thought to drive past my former clinic just to see if there had been any changes made to the building. I noticed immediately that the big heavy fencing had been removed, along with the bars on the windows.

You would drive by and just see a building. It’s possible that you would even look at that building and see a victory, but I look at that building and see so much sin, my sin. When I look at it I see eight years of time spent without God. I see so many years of loss. However, there is a small part of me that sees triumph.

I wanted to pull into that parking lot, but I couldn’t make myself do it at first. I drove by at least three times before I finally turned my wheel and pulled in. I instinctively pulled into that second to last parking spot, the same spot I had parked in for eight years. I decided to move my car closer to the building. I thought maybe I would be able to see through the windows. It felt strangely familiar to be in that parking lot, which I didn’t like, but I worked there longer than I have been out, so I figured that made sense.

There was some light shining through one of the windows on the building. I was very familiar with that window. That window was my old office window. And, I knew that light. It was a light right outside one of our education offices that never turned off. I felt drawn to go look inside, from the outside.

I exited my car and walked up to the building. I went to my office window and looked inside. It took my breath away to see my old desk still sitting there. There was a note on the desk that was apparently left behind from Planned Parenthood. The note had a woman’s name and phone number written on it. In the memo it said that she was “calling about AB information.” We always abbreviated abortion with “AB.”

If you were to look through that window, you would only see a basic office, but that’s not what I see when I look through it. As I stood there I could see myself sitting at that desk, auditing charts, checking to make sure that the ultrasound pictures of the babies we killed were in every chart.

Thousands of those ultrasound pictures flashed through my brain, the pictures of the perfectly round heads of these innocent babies. We would measure them to find out how far along the women were in their pregnancy. I look at those shelves in my office and I see the folders that held all of the lab records for each woman who had an abortion. I see the folders of the “POC Examination” sheets, the papers that we signed when we had found all of the body parts after each abortion.

I see the bowl of miraculous medals that sat on my shelf, all of those medals that were left behind by the pro-lifers in our flowerbeds. I had picked them all up and kept them in that bowl for eight years. You would look in and see a large empty space next to my desk. I see a small conference table that sat there. It was where I had interviewed applicants. It’s where we sat as I would lie to them about our “mission” at Planned Parenthood.

“We want to reduce the number of abortions,” I would tell them. That was just a lie. We didn’t care about those women who came to us. We just wanted their money. The time spent at that small table was my first opportunity to brainwash these potential employees about all of the “good” that we were doing at Planned Parenthood.

I slowly walked to the window to the right of me and looked in. You would see a small room with a kitchenette. You would realize that this room must have been a staff break room, but I look in and see all of us standing around a table, grabbing a bite to eat in between abortion procedures. I see us all laughing as the abortionist would tell us his greatest “abortion stories.” I remember us looking out that window and mocking the pro-lifers outside who were praying for all of us.

I continued walking down that sidewalk and looked into each window. I had been in every one of those rooms. I could see myself there, convincing women to have abortions, reassuring them that they wouldn’t feel regret after their procedure. I was only able to see the opening to our recovery room. I could see women sitting in large, leather recliners, each one of them crying as they realized what they had done.

I could see myself cleaning the blood off of the floor in one of the exam rooms where one of my friends began hemorrhaging after the abortionist perforated her uterus. All of that blood. My friend laid on that exam table white as a ghost. I was begging to call an ambulance. “No ambulance,” our doctor replied.

I could see all of it. I could see all of those memories so clearlythings I hadn’t thought about in over five years. They were all rushing into my mind and I couldn’t control them. I was already sobbing and clinging to the stone wall when I reached one of the last windows and looked inside.

From where I was standing I could see across the hall, I could see the POC lab. So many babies. So many tiny faces. So much horror. I didn’t feel like my legs could support my weight anymore, so I just sat on the ground and wept. I was aware people driving by could see me, but I just couldn’t move. It felt like my heart was literally breaking in my chest. It was physically painful.

I have no idea how long I had been sitting there with my face in my hands, but I suddenly felt a hand on my shoulder. I looked up, feeling startled, to find a stranger standing there. It was an older man. I figured I needed to give some sort of explanation as to why I was sitting there sobbing like a crazy person, but the only thing I could get out was, “I used to work here.”

He looked at me with such compassion and in a gentle voice said, “I know. I know who you are. Can I help you?” I was trying to get up, but felt kind of wobbly. He grabbed my arm and walked with me as I made my way to my car. He asked me if I wanted him to call someone for me, but I didn’t. I couldn’t think of anyone who would understand what was happening in my head and in my heart at that moment. I thanked this kind gentleman and assured him that I would be fine.

As I watched him walk off, I went back to the window of my old office one last time. There was a Bible verse written on the wall. It said something about evil. That was not the Bible verse that I had envisioned writing on that wall one day. I had always wanted to write 2 Corinthians 5:17, “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.”

I walked back to my car and pulled out of the parking lot. I felt numb, but I knew that would eventually go away. I turned on my iPod and hit shuffle. I don’t think it was a coincidence that the song that came on was Matt Maher’s, “Alive Again.”

The chorus says, “You called and You shouted Broke through my deafness Now I'm breathing in and breathing out I'm alive again

You shattered my darkness Washed away my blindness Now I'm breathing in and breathing out I'm alive again”

I drove home thanking God that I am alive again, and that I am alive in Him. I don’t know why things happen the way that they happen, but I know that I just have to keep moving forward, in forgiveness, in truth, and with God.

My past will always be there. Those memories will always be a part of my mind. I don’t even mind that they are there. Those memories keep me motivated in this battle. I know I am forgiven. I know that God has cast my sin as far as the east is from the west, I know that. I feel His redemption. I feel His mercy. I feel it every day of my life.

I share this part of my journey with all of you because many of you have been here since the very beginning. You heard that there was an unnamed abortion clinic director who had resigned from Planned Parenthood and was now prolife. You have shared your lives and your struggles with me, so I will continue to share mine with you. I reveal my vulnerability and my weakness because I don’t know how to be something I’m not. Hopefully over the past five years you have seen changes in me that made you smile. I pray that I have saved more than I helped to kill. I pray that God continues to open doors as long as He wants me doing this work.

Healing in public has not been easy or ideal, but, in the end it has been worth it. Thank you for being on this journey with me, even when it has been messy. It’s important to express how thankfull I am to you for loving me in spite of my past sins.

Thank you for embracing my ministry that reaches out to others who need healing. Thank you for looking past the victory of an abortion clinic worker who switched sides and just seeing ME, a broken sinner in need of grace, mercy, and compassion. I’m not sure that I could ever express how much your prayers, your kind words, and your hugs have healed my heart.

As I reflect on our last retreat for clinic workers, something really stands out to me. Yes, God heals us. But, so does your faith in us. Your kindness heals us. You play a part in putting our hearts back together. Thank you for loving us.

All the pro-life facts about hormonal contraception (that you probably don’t want to hear) - Part I

Contraception

Let me start out by saying that this article is might, more than likely, anger a lot of people. However, I am committed to telling the truth. Sometimes the truth hurts, but as pro-lifers this information simply cannot be ignored, regardless of how much it affects our current lifestyle choices.

This is the first of a three-part write-up piece on hormonal contraception. I hope you will read all three parts and share this factual information with people who may not know these truths.

The pro-life mantra has always been “Life Begins at Conception.” Do we really believe that though? Do we really believe that life begins at that amazing moment of conception? Or do we actually believe that it begins at implantation? You may think that is a silly question. ‘Of COURSE pro-lifers believe that life begins at conception! Hello?! We have been saying that for years!’

Well, if you truly believe that life begins at conception, then you MUST unequivocally oppose hormonal contraception. The reason for this is that hormonal contraception does not always prevent ovulation. In fact, many studies performed by the birth control manufacturers state that only about half of women using their methods actually cease ovulating.

So, how do these methods work if you are still ovulating at least half the time? Simple. These methods have a backup plan, a Plan B of sorts. Hormonal methods also work to thin the lining of the endometrium, also called the uterine wall, so that a newly conceived human being (life begins at conception, right?) cannot implant on the uterine wall. Since the baby has nowhere to implant, they are spontaneously aborted.

If you don’t believe me then view the screenshots of the information that comes directly from the manufacturers, or follow the links:

Nuvaring – Vaginal Ring

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Paragard – Copper IUD (cause that sounds safe!)

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Will sexually active women abort their babies every cycle? Probably not, but you might. You really don’t know, and that’s the scary (and morally problematic) part.

To really drive this point home let’s use an example. Let’s say that a demolition company was going to use a wrecking ball to destroy an old school. When the supervisor of the company asks the principal if they made sure to clear the building, the principal says, “We most likely did. We aren’t 100% sure, but we are pretty confident.” Would that be acceptable? Would you be willing to push that button that releases the wrecking ball? Would you be willing to risk that there may or may not be life in that building?

Well, if you’re taking hormonal contraception and you’re sexually active, then you release that wrecking ball every month.

Luckily, there is a way to space pregnancies without the potential loss of life. It’s called Natural Family Planning. There are MANY different methods and sometimes it takes trying a couple before you find the right one for you. I recommend visiting the website for I Use NFP to explore the various methods of NFP out there.

In the event that you are one of those people who say, “I have to take birth control because of xyz health condition.” No, actually you don’t. I’m going to write another article on this, but I will tell you that by taking birth control you are allowing yourself to be fooled into masking the problem, not solving the root cause of it. NFP and NaPro technology can actually FIX the problem. You can find more information at FertilityCare Centers of America.

Ladies, we have been force fed the idea that we must fix our unbroken fertility, and that our fertility solely falls on our shoulders. The reality is that fertility should be shared between a husband and wife. You don’t get pregnant on your own. NFP is a beautiful way to help you share in that gift. It’s worth your time to check it out.

Stay tuned for: Part II: If it Ain’t Broke, Don’t Fix It. 

**The original article was published by LifeSiteNews.com. Any reproduction or quotation from this article must give appropriate credit and sourcing to their website. 

I was willing to risk eternity in hell for legal abortion, then I saw one.

I traveled the same route to my house from the Planned Parenthood facility I managed day in and day out. Marshals, that came in to our facility to provide “safety training” for us annually, recommended to us changing our route home. They warned us about how dangerous the pro-lifers were outside our facility. Ha.

You never want to take the same route home. Always change it up. You never know when one of them could be following you,” they said.

I wasn’t too concerned with the pro-lifers outside my facility. I knew them. They knew me. They constantly offered me help and seemed to genuinely care about me. That was annoying. It made it really difficult, if not impossible, to hate the people who were so nice to me, despite the fact that all of my supervisors taught me to hate them.

On September 26, I had witnessed something that had shaken me to my very core, something I could not un-see. I watched a 13 week old baby die by abortion. I watched him struggle for his life, right there before my eyes on an ultrasound monitor.

I was numb, shocked, horrified, and quite honestly, I felt so stupid. How could I have fallen for the lies of this organization?  How could I have let it happen for eight years?

On October 4, I sat in my living room. I held my daughter, and I contemplated. Did I have the guts to admit that I had been wrong for so many years? Did I have the courage to admit that I was a liar? I hate liars, but it hit me that I had been the biggest liar I knew. Could I walk away from my friends? Could I walk away from my huge salary and promise of promotion?

That Sunday afternoon, I didn’t know. I didn’t want to leave. I didn’t want to be uncomfortable. However, I wasn’t able to justify what I witnessed. I knew I couldn’t rationalize my behavior or my life.

For several years, I had asked myself a question: “If I died, would I go to heaven or hell?” I remember thinking that I would probably go to hell for my active and proud participation in abortion. And somehow, I had convinced myself that it was okay. I was willing to spend an eternity in hell in order to provide abortions.

On October 5, I sat in my office and asked that same question. This time around, my answer changed. No, I was not willing to potentially spend an eternity in hell so that women could continue taking the lives of their children. No, I would no longer be an accomplice to this brutality.

Now, I faced new questions that emerged. Where would I go? Would these pro-lifers really accept me? They always said they would, but how could I believe that? How could they just accept me knowing my past? How could they forgive me for how I had treated them for so many years? I didn’t know what their reaction would be, but there was no going back from here. This was a risk I was willing to take.

So, I took a left instead of a right out of our parking lot. I went to their office. I spilled my guts. I admitted that yes, I had been wrong… so very wrong.

What was their reaction? Well, they forgave me. They haul off on my past faults, naming all of my sins. They didn’t make me beg or force an apology out of me. They simply extended their forgiveness.

I remember after my story hit the national news, a reporter had called and asked to talk to one of the staff members from the pro-life office where I had turned for help. This reporter wanted the scoop. How bad was I when I worked in Planned Parenthood? What were some of the terrible things I had done to them out on the sidewalk?

I expected, and I waited, for all of my embarrassing, dirty laundry to be aired when she answered his questions. Instead, I heard this from her, “I don’t even know that person anymore. Abby is a new creation in Christ and that’s the Abby I want to talk about.”

I never experienced that type of love from a friend, but now I was graced with it from a woman who I had only met three weeks earlier. This is a woman who I had cursed and yelled at. She witnessed the very worst side of me, but here she was offering me this gift of forgiveness.

Certainly, this was a gift that I didn’t deserve from her, but there it was without any strings attached. I often think about that moment.

Can you love people into truth? I definitely think so. I think it really comes down to whether or not you’re willing to love someone that much. Are you willing to put aside their past sins and see the God’s creation that He made? Are you willing to reach out with the love of God, His love and mercy, instead of anger and condemnation?

Are you willing to just meet people where they are and care for them no matter how far they are from where you want them to be? It’s more important where God wants them to be. He has the power to change the hardest of hearts, but can’t we attempt to love our neighbor the way God loves each of us?

Did Christ not say he who is without sin cast the first stone? We owe it to each other to explain where someone through their action is leading a life that could separate them from their Creator for eternity. However, we do not have authority to condemn them because we don’t know the state of their souls. That particular is for God alone because He knows us to our very depths and the fruit we bear in our lives, or lack of fruitfulness. We can know to some degree based on the way someone acts, but we can only correct, or try to correct, bad actions.

It always makes me laugh when I explain to people how many abortion clinic workers leave their facilities through my ministry, And Then There Were None. They are so shocked! They can’t believe 128 people have come to us in the past two years. Who knew these people could have such a profound change of heart? We pray for this to happen, and then when it does, and we are surprised!

Friends, these workers are leaving the abortion industry because they are finally able to see that there is real help for them. They don’t leave because people have told them that they are “baby killers.” They certainly don’t leave because someone tells them they will “burn in hell” for working in the industry. They leave because they are able to receive help from us and are, as well as a and a place to heal. They leave because they want something better for themselves. They leave because we are finally helping them see that we do genuinely care about them.

We need to remember as often as we are able to that people can change, and we always need to hope and pray that they do.  Even if these clinic worker’s or anyone else who chooses evil, are our enemies, Christ calls us to love our enemies more than we love those we love. We are not required to tolerate evil, but we need love those that commit it. Evil cannot be overcome with more evil. They need our prayers for their conversion.

Regardless of how rude they are to us, how much they ignore us, no matter how many times they tell us to “get a job” or something similar, they WILL eventually leave. However, that will only happen if we reflect Christ to them. We don’t have to preach to them. I remember hearing one time that “God is a gentleman.” God will not force Himself on someone, so we shouldn’t either.

Pray. Be kind. Love them. If you don’t think you can love them then stay away from them. The only thing that will keep an abortion worker in the industry longer is a pro-lifer who condemns them.

What if you were the reason an abortion worker took a left instead of a right? It’s possible. I thank God every day of my life for the people who made me “change my route.”

For more information about what you can do to help abortion facility workers, visit And Then There Were None.

*The original article was published by LifeSiteNews.com. Any reproduction or quotation from this article must give appropriate credit and sourcing to their website. 

 

 

For 8 years I helped kill unborn babies. How did I not see the truth?

 

A couple of months ago, my husband and I went to the theater to watch “The Giver.” I had heard that it had a pro-life message, so I was pretty excited to see it.

It was an intense movie. Well, it was for me, anyway.

If you haven’t seen it yet, Iyou highlyreally recommend that you watch itshould. It’s a movie about a futuristic type of life where there is no emotion, no love, no hate, no war, and no death. Sure, people die., B but they don’t call it death. …tThey call it “going elsewhere.”

It is a society where only the “best” people are kept. Those who are unable to contribute are sent to “elsewhere.” Those who are elderly are sent to “elsewhere.” And yes, babies who do not pass specific infant evaluations are also sent to “elsewhere.”

The whole plot is too complicated to explaintype out in this article, but basically a young man is given the power to see emotion. He is able to love. HAnd he is also able to see the truth about sending people to “elsewhere.” He realizes that they are killing people. One of the best lines in the movie is when this young man says, “They haven't eliminated murder. .., . Tthey just call it by a different name." Hmm. Similar toKind of like our society and abortion.

Anyway, this young man realizes that his father is one of the people killing these babies. In the scene of this realization, he is furious. He is shouting things like, “How can he do this? He is killing them!” An older man looks at him and says, “He doesn’t see it. He doesn’t see what he is doing.”

That scene shook me to my core. Five years ago, that was me. I was killing babies. And I also didn’t see it. I watched the rest of the movie, but couldn’t get those words out of my head. I didn’t see it.

There are a few fairlypretty common questions that you receiveget when you leave the abortion industry. How did you not see that it was a baby? How did you not realize that you were killing babies? How did you see these babies in the POC lab and not leave? (The POC lab is where the fetal body parts are put back together after an abortion). How did you have a baby and not see the problem in what you were doing?

My answer…

I don’t know. I don’t know. I don’t know. I don’t know. Guys, I don’t know. It doesn’t make sense. I don’t understand it. I know I’m a smart person, and somehowyet I was duped by the abortion industry for eight years. Why did it take so long for me to see the truth? I don’t know.

The fact that I don’t have the answers to these questions only affirms that we are fighting a spiritual battle. We are fighting evil. …and eEvil that will literally blind you to the truth. Sin blinds you.

You see, as an abortion clinic worker, I experienced evil in a way that most have not (thank The Lord). I have physically experienced evil. I have touched it when I pieced these tiny babies back together. I have seen it in those little glass dishes that I dumped their bodies into. I have heard it as the suction machine violently pulled these tiny bodies out of their mother’s wombs. And yes, I will go as far to tell you that I have even smelled it. Abortion has a very specific smell, one that you will never forget.

When evil comes into your life in such a real and tangible way, it changes you. YAnd you know what though? You don’t even see it. You truly don’t realize what you are doing.

And then one day you do. Thate blindness you were once veiled with isis lifted from your eyes. This isn’t done removed. Not by human hands, but by the hand of the Holy Spirit.

So my question is this? How can we condemn those who are truly blinded by evil? We can’t. We shouldn't be condemning anyone. We don’t know the secrets of their heart. We can only guide others to God by informing them, but in order to do that we need to be living examples of virtue. We also need to approach those situations with others committing evils acts carefully. We need to pray for them, but we also need to pray for God to reveal to us how we are to proceed with them. Any good we do is because of God, He is all that is good, so go to the source.

How do we bring about conversion of those living in blindness? This is accomplished withBy love, charity towards our neighbor. We offer forgivenessBy truth in charity. By offering forgiveness. By offering mercyWe offer mercy. We pray for themWith prayer, and for ourselves in how we interact with them. Everyone has the power to change, so hope in God alone in all things.

I’ve heard pro-lifers yell at abortion clinic workers that they should “REPENT!!!” Repent of what? They don’t understand see what they are doing as something that needs to be repented of. Why? TBecause they are blinded by the evil. Do you think yelling at them will remove that blindness? Not likely. Is that how God inspires us to repent? Not exactly. It’s possible He might use those things to change us, but God is patient, love, and goodness itself. He extends His mercy to those who ask for it and live it out in their own lives.

These worker’sy don’t see it. They don’t know what they are doing. Doesn’t thatThat sounds familiar?, doesn't it?

“Father forgive them,. T for they know not what they do.!” You see, Christ recognized spiritual blindness in others, and even prayed for His enemies. How is it, yet we are not able to see?. That is part of our own blindness. Christ gave us the perfect example of how we should treat those who truly don’t know. We pray for them. We forgive them. We love them. We extend mercy to them.

There are those, while claiming to be devout,But somehow, some think who think they know better than Christ. Blindness. Making ourselves the authority is to place ourselves alongside the devil, God is our master, not us.

We’ve all been blinded, or are currently being blinded, by some sort of sin whether it’s mortal or venial. All sin is an offense towards God. Would we want to be judged the way in which we judge others?

We are all afflicted with our own spiritual blindness. That’s what sin does to us, and we all sin. We are all guilty of the blood of Christ when we sin, over and over again. We hold the whips, the nails, the hammer, the rope… all of it that caused His affliction was due to our own sins and we deepen His wounds when we continue to sin.

That’s what sin does to us, and we all sin. We would do better to look into our own hearts and deal with our own sin before we judgecondemn the sins of others, or else when we do correct others we would appear as hypocrites. .

Does this mean we don’t judge right from wrong? NoOf course not..

I’m not talking about taking a stand on moral absolutes. We must do it to defend our rights and the rights of those who aren’t able to defend themselves.

Is abortion absolutely wrong? Yes. Are the people who work in these facilities absolutely evil? No. Why? Well, because Because tthey have the ability to change. They have the ability to receive the love and forgiveness of Christ. Abortion does not change. Murder under any name is still murder. It is always ends the life of anotherkilling a human being. Since we did not create them and were not given the authority to do so, it is wrong.

MurderIt is always violatesing  the rights of an individual person. Nothing will ever change about that. Abortion clinic workers can change. And they do change. I am a prime example of that because I changed. We have 132 clinic workers in our ministry, And Then There Were None,  who have changed.

Don’t ever doubt the power of God to change any heart. As long as a person lives it is possible to change. Let’s extend love to those He may be working on. Let’s not do anything to disrupt His hard work.

They will know we are Christians by our LOVE. Hate begets hate. Love begets love. Let’s choose to love and to love well.

 

**The original article was published by LifeSiteNews.com. Any reproduction or quotation from this article must give appropriate credit and sourcing to their website. 

When my church found out I worked for Planned Parenthood, they kicked me out. What if...

In my book, “unPlanned,” I mention  a church that kicked me out when they had discovered that I worked for Planned Parenthood. I often get questioned about that, whether I still think they made the wrong decision. My answer is a resounding YES.

I try not to go down the “what if” road very often. It isn’t fruitful and just makes you feel crummy. But, just for the sake of this article, let’s go there.

What if I had been ministered to instead of shunned by that church? How could my life be different?

It’s possible I would have realized sooner that abortion was actually going against God’s Word. It’s possible that I would have been interested in sitting down with my parents and had an open and honest discussion about their beliefs.

It’s possible I would have really connected with a group of pro-life women who could have mentored me during that time. I might have left. Maybe I would have never become an abortion clinic director. Maybe I wouldn’t be responsible for the deaths of more than 20,000 babies.

What if…

If the church doesn’t minister to sinners, then who will? And, guess what? Every church across this planet is full of sinners, every single one of them. It should be no surprise that we all sin, but we all can change. We all can be re-born in Christ, but the church has fallen down on the job.

Let’s do some more “what ifs.”

What if people of faith had been standing outside that abortion clinic the day I went for my first abortion in 2000? You see, I walked in alone. My boyfriend dropped me off at the curb. Not a soul was outside, but the waiting area inside was standing-room only.

What if someone had been there to reach out to me at that time of confusion in my life? Maybe I would have turned to them instead of the abortion clinic. Maybe I would have had the courage to talk to my parents about my situation. Maybe I wouldn’t have killed my first child.

That same day, of my first abortion, was the day the evil of abortion entered into my life. If I had chosen life that day, I might not have ever have signed up to volunteer for Planned Parenthood…

What if I had grown up in a church where abortion was frequently discussed from the pulpit? There’s a chance I wouldn’t have decided to have sex before marriage. But, if I did, maybe I would have known that abortion was not an option when I had my first unplanned pregnancy. What if the sin of abortion had never entered my life…

The first day that I drove into Planned Parenthood to volunteer is a scene that I will never forget. A guy dressed up like the grim reaper, a man standing with a HUGE sign that said “There is blood on your hands if you kill your baby.” A group of people were yelling at me as I got out of my car telling me that I was a baby killer.

There was a man holding a 5-foot tall graphic sign of a baby’s head after an abortion. There was a tiny voice that I couldn’t even hear over the yelling, offering help to women walking in. What if those aggressive protestors had not been there?

I remember pulling up, listening to their cruel words, and seeing their crazy behavior and thinking, “Wow. If this is the Christian pro-life movement, then I don’t want ANY part of that.” What if there had only been loving voices, like that tiny voice I heard out there on that sidewalk, offering help and hope?

Maybe I would have realized that Planned Parenthood had not been honest with me, that we weren’t “saving” these women, that the pro-lifers weren’t the enemy. Maybe if things had been different that very first day…

At one of our recent healing retreats for former abortion workers, I heard a story from a woman there that made me disgusted and heartbroken.

This woman had gotten involved with the abortion industry when she was 16 years old. She didn’t like abortion, but her mom had severe mental illness and couldn’t work. Her dad was out of the picture. She had to work to support herself, her younger siblings, and her mother. They were living in squalor. The only thing keeping them out of a homeless shelter and off the street was this girl’s small paycheck from the abortion clinic.

She had been a long time member of a Christian church in her area. Her pastor and other members of her church knew the poverty they lived in. The pastor had personally visited their home.

When the church leaders found out that she was working at the abortion clinic, they sat her down and told her that she was no longer welcome there. There was no, “Hey listen, I know things are tough for you. How can we help you get a better job? How can we help you support your family? How can we help with your mother and your siblings? How can we minister to you? How can we get you out of that job and into something better?” Nope. It was just a swift quick kick out the door. No ministry. No witness. Just a dismissal.

Wow. I wonder how different her life would have been if her church would have done the right thing. We will never know. However, as it stands now, this woman has terrible flashbacks, nightmares, and PTSD because of her work in the abortion industry. I am just so thankful that she is connected with our ministry so she can finally get the help that she needed, help that should have come when she was a 16 year old child.

Churches, it’s time to stand up. It’s time to speak up. It’s time to minister to the hurting, to the wounded, and YES, even to the sinner. Do you have to vote them in as a deacon or the choir director? No, but you should be willing to minister to those who need it, without judgment and without condemnation.

What if our churches actually discussed the truth of abortion? Maybe we wouldn’t be where we are today…

- 1.2 million abortions per year.

- 3,300 abortions per day.

- 1 in 3 women having abortions in this country.

- 50% of African American pregnancies ending in abortion.

- Nearly 70% of women seeking abortions come from our churches.

 

What if?

I remember speaking at a Catholic conference one time. I had just delivered some really hard truth to the priests in the audience. A few of them didn’t like that too much. One came up to me after the event to express his aggravation. Here was our conversation.

Priest: “I just think you are blowing things out of proportion. I mean, how much do we REALLLLLY need to talk about abortion in our churches?” *sarcastic tone*

Me: “Well Father, I don’t know the answer to that. But, I remember women lying on the abortion clinic table with a blood pressure cuff on one arm and a rosary in their other hand. I remember women reading their Bibles as they sat waiting for us to call them for their abortion appointment. I remember women asking us to pray with them before we started the abortion procedure. So, why don’t you tell me how much this needs to be talked about in our churches?”

Priest: “Oh, I didn’t know.”

Me: “Well, now you do. No more excuses.”

Priest: *silence*

If the Church doesn’t stand up against this evil, then who will? Enough worrying about “who we will offend.” Somehow our Christian churches have become more worried about offending their congregation than they are about offending God. Shame on us.

Pastors, you are the shepherds of your flock, lead them. They are waiting for you to lead them. They are desperate for you to lead them. If you have an abortion clinic in your town, get out there and pray in front of it.

If there are pregnancy centers in your area, your church should be supporting them. You are accountable, as a clergy member, more than anyone else. LEAD YOUR FLOCK. If you lead, they will follow.

And everyone else, enough is enough with the apathy. Enough is enough with the excuses. Get out there at your local abortion clinic and pray. There is nothing to be scared of. Remember, fear doesn’t come from God. Don’t let the devil keep you from performing God’s work. BE the hands and feet of Christ. Don’t just claim to be pro-life in name only, BE pro-life in action.

What if things had been different? What if my pastor had spoken up? What if people had been outside that clinic where I had my first abortion? What if that church hadn’t given me the boot?

What if…

Don’t live your life with those questions. What if you had gone out to that clinic? What if you worked to start a pro-life group in your church? What if you volunteered at that pregnancy center? Maybe you could have saved a life, or even many lives. Don’t live a life of “what ifs.” Strive to live a life of action.

**The original article was published by LifeSiteNews.com. Any reproduction or quotation from this article must give appropriate credit and sourcing to their website. 

Guest Post from Meagan Weber

Recently there has been a lot of talk about a 29 year old woman named Brittany Maynard who has been diagnosed with terminal cancer. She intends on ending her own life by means of assisted suicide on November 1st. Her story breaks my heart and hits so close to home and I hope that the following may shed some perspective to those who regard the "need" for assisted suicide in their hearts.

November 19th, 2001 was the day that suicide tragically entered my life, up close and personal. My mother took her own life in a bathtub full water to ensure drowning as a back up plan to her pharmaceutical overdose. I found her body. Some support assisted suicide as a means to prevent such traumatic events from taking place. Yes, this method may take away the shock factor and remove the temptation of leaving ones self in a position of visual trauma, but it is still suicide and supporting it tells the contemplating person that their life really isn't worth living.

We ALL want to avoid pain and anguish, it is a natural human response to adversity. Since when, as a society, does ending ones life become the supported solution to adversity? We have lost our way and manipulated the essence of compassion and mercy when we support this practice. I would like to invite you to read along and take in some thoughts of mine on this topic.

 

The Age/Pain Factor: 

People argue for assisted suicide, but they put on stipulations like age and pain. It is only for the elderly that are really suffering, or for those with a terminal illness in severe pain. I ask this question. How do we determine someone else's pain? How do we judge and say that a person aged twenty-five or forty-two has emotional or physical burdens that are less painful than that of a person aged ninety-five? Are you saying that a twenty year old still has a better chance to get over their emotional issue or that their body is stronger and can more easily sustain treatment? Are you saying that a twenty year old with extreme emotional turmoil will get over it and deny their ability to obtain assisted suicide, but a sixty year old with three times the life experience suddenly lacks the ability to overcome and mentally endure one more day?

We CANNOT compare peoples pain and decide that one person be qualified to have assistance to end their life while the other is denied and left with the temptation to do it by their own hand in a way that may just add more debilitating trauma to their family. How much pain and suffering does one have to bear and who can truly judge that? Who are we to determine what type of pain is acceptable to escape from? Even those reading this will have differing opinions, so why should we really take that into our own hands to figure out?

 

The Method/Cause of Death Factor:

It is argued that assisted suicide should only be for terminal illness. How do we know if those who hang themselves, shoot themselves, drown themselves or jump off of cliffs are suffering from a terminal illness? Maybe my mom was diagnosed with something fatal and she was too ashamed to admit it. Does anyone want to tell me or anyone else who has suffered this trauma that their choosing assisted suicide would hurt us less? Would it make us feel less rejected? Less betrayed? Going back to #1, who are we to determine the level of anguish a person is experiencing and who are we to decide who is qualified and who is not? By supporting assisted suicide, we are not simply supporting a method to assist the terminally ill from suffering pain, but just supporting a different cause of the same deliberate and suicidal death.

 

The Majority Support Factor:

Just because a person chooses assisted suicide and has a dozen or so loved ones surrounding their bed and saying goodbye and those present have accepted this fate and support the decision, does NOT mean that everyone who loved the person who is ending their own life was in support of it. It does not mean that no one is left to feel rejected and emotionally damaged over their decision. When we decide on life or death by a majority vote, we have lost our way.

 

The Convenience Factor:

If it hurts too much for us to watch someone suffer, is our support of their decision based on them or us? Is the person choosing assisted suicide coming up with this idea on their own? Do they feel guilty for what their loved ones will have to witness as they slowly and painfully die? Is it being offered by a doctor as an option and confirmed by the tired care giver as a “dignified” way to go?

"It will save so many medical bills and you can turn around and leave that money to your kids and grand kids" , "If you do it next week, Billy can be here before he is deployed for Afghanistan" , "You can do it at the end of the week of the family reunion and we will all be in town for the memorial so no one misses it".  

How many of these scenarios are REALLY occurring? Supporting ones suicide out of convenience is a terrible thing.

 

The Timing Factor:

Who are we to determine the timing of our own death? My grandma had diabetes and she spent the last several years of her life very sick and in bed. I got the call that she might not make it much longer and I went to see her. We had a broken relationship and we had not had much time to mend it. Had she opted for assisted suicide, I would have never been able to attempt to restore our relationship. While I was visiting to say goodbye she got better, her death rattle went away, and she started eating and drinking again. My grandma’s biggest fear was not to die, but to not be remembered.

My grandpa sat by her side day in and day out. He put together puzzles to pass the time. A few days before her death, he began to piece together a puzzle of the NYC World Trade Centers as the anniversary of the terrorist attacks was approaching.

It was the evening of September 11, 2008, he had just placed the last puzzle piece to complete the memorial puzzle. The nurses came in to check on my grandma as her vitals were dropping. Her declared time of death was 9:11pm on September 11, 2008. How can you forget THAT? I am sure this story will also stick with you and my grandma's fears will be once again defeated.  She will NOT be forgotten, just as she hoped and prayed. What a memorable moment to pass into heaven, something that would not have been had she gone with assisted suicide. How many impacting stories and redeeming memories are being missed out on because someone chose their own time?

 

The Playing God Factor:

Sadly I have been confronted harshly by many professing Christians on this topic. Some have even said that maybe God wants their loved one to die peacefully and in a dignified manner without loosing their physical abilities and pride. The rest of this message is specifically intended for those who profess faith in Christ and those who profess that the Bible is the inerrant word of God.

The only safe solution to these factors is to leave no guess work, to leave no what ifs, no chance of false motives from those set to gain from the persons sooner death. Let's get out the way and simply let God be God and trust Him with life and death.

For those who profess faith in Christ and hold a position of support of assisted suicide, please consider the following.

It is said in many arguments for assisted suicide that it is more compassionate to allow suffering to end in a painless manner. Is there a person on earth that is MORE compassionate than God Almighty?

Who are we to know what lies around the corner? We do NOT contain such knowledge, whether a new experimental drug, a wealthy person donating to a hospital that provides a new grant to continue treatment, whether a 4th opinion would reveal that it is treatable or whether God will in fact HEAL.

People get hung up on the idea that we are not supposed to suffer. Suffering does NOT have to be a bad thing. Romans 8:18, For I consider that the suffering of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us.

What if Jesus chose NOT to suffer, where would our hope be? When He was on the cross, He was offered something to ease His suffering, He turned His head away and denied the deliverance of His pain. I do NOT say that someone should deny themselves the pain medication or comfort when they are terminal, I simply say that Jesus did NOT take the pain free route and HE is our example.

With God, NOTHING IS WASTED, He does NOT allow His children to go through something that He will NOT work for good.

Romans 8:28, For we know that God works ALL things together for good, for those who love Him and for those called according to His purposes.

Is your suffering loved one called to a higher purpose? Is there an eternal glory being worked through their pain and suffering? Will their suffering lead someone to Christ?

At the end of the day people, even Christians, are wrongfully advocating for assisted suicide. Their premise is disguised in romanticized words such as dignity and peaceful. Supporting ones death by their own hand and utilizing doctors to administer lethal drugs so that people won't be tempted to leave their body for their family to find is just as off base as keeping abortion legal so women don't injure themselves with coat hangars. We simply cannot justify this act. There are too many lives at stake!

I am passionate about LIFE, from conception to  natural death. There can be so much beauty in our sufferings and so many lessons to learn when we witness it. I know this is a very touchy subject, especially for those who have had a loved one end their life through assistance. I am not out to call your loved one a bad guy/gal or smear them for their decision. I am SO sorry for your loss and I grieve the pain and suffering along with you. I am just out to expose the errors in the system.

To learn more about Meagan, click here to read her testimony.

To keep up to date with Meagan, follow her on Facebook here.

If you are interested in having Meagan speak at your event on the topic of Assisted Suicide or on the Abortion Minded Woman, please email her: meaganweber@gmail.com

This is Not a Conspiracy Theory

Recently, Ben Johnson recently authoredwrote a great article called Planned Parenthood Promotes HPV Vaccine to Minorities as Officials Probe Its Link to Girl’s Death. As the title suggests, it’s about the damaging effects of the Gardasil, the ( HPV) vaccination.

In his article, he talks about the women who have died. That number is exactly 96 women who have died from this vaccine. However, these are just the deaths that have been reported.  He explains that women have lost their fertility after receiving the highly regarded HPV vaccine, but the main focus of the article is how the Gardasil vaccine is being specifically, and heavily, promoted to the African-American community through ad placement on BET (Black Entertainment Television).

When I read his article, my conspiracy alarms went off. Personally, I’m not a conspiracy theorist, although but I find people who are quite entertaining. However,But when I heard about these ads, something in my memory triggered. my memory was triggered.

Of course Planned Parenthood is trying to target minorities with this vaccine. They receiveare getting largebig reimbursements for injecting their low income patients with this dangerous drug! It was at this point thatThen I knew I needed toI had to write this article about my personalown experience inside Planned Parenthood regarding Gardasil.

When Gardasil was releasedcame out, Planned Parenthood was PUMPED. “Such a wonderful way to serve women,” they said. “This will help prevent cancer for so many young women,” one of my coworkers raved. Shortly after this But then I heard the real reason behind their excitement, “We are going to make so much money off of this vaccine.” Bingo. Of course they were excited. Each injection was going to cost around $200, and women are requiredhave to receiveget three to be “fully protected.” That equates to $600 Six hundred dollars for a vaccine. That was a lot of money.

But, then I thought to myself, “Our clients don’t have $600 for a vaccine. This is going to be a huge flop.”

I wasn’t aware at the time about What I didn’t know about at that time was the “Merck Vaccine Assistance Program.” Merck is the manufacturer of Gardasil. This program would pay 100% of the cost of the vaccine itself. Our patients would just have to pay a little $30 “injection fee” per vaccine.  Ninety dollars versus six hundred was definitely doable.

Next, we were instructed to offer Gardasil to EVERY woman aged 11 to 26 who walked through our doors. “Oh, you’re are here for a vaginal infection? How about a vaccine, too?” “Oh, I see you marked that you had Herpes and need treatment. Well, you better get this vaccine so you won’t get genital warts, too.” This might seem funny, but it was seriously how we were told to sell this vaccine to our clients.

We signed people up by the dozens. We faxed off numerous applications for the “Vaccine Assistance Program.” Almost everyone was approved since most of our clients were low income.

We were actually running out of vaccines. Those little bottles flew off our refrigerator shelves at around $170 pera bottle, for which Planned Parenthood was being reimbursed by the Merck program.

I’m not aware of any of these women returning with complications, or if any of them went to the ER with problems. It’s not exactly like we did any follow up. I don’t even know if they got all three doses. My gut tells me that 80% of them did not.

Let’s get back to the conspiracy idea. Planned Parenthood just ran a series of ads promoting Gardasil on BET (Black Entertainment Television). Ninety-six women have died, several have experienced sterility, and yet Planned Parenthood launches a big campaign targeting the African-American community?

The pro-life movement has talked for years about how Planned Parenthood targets our minority community in the United States. And, even if we totally scrap the fact that the founder of Planned Parenthood, Margaret Sanger, who was a raging racist, we can still look inside of the organization and find racism alive and well.

In the past, I’ve discussed the document stating that we were NOT to talk about inside of Planned Parenthood, …the “Jaffe Memo.” So, here is my article about that memo and the information it entailed. This document was composed in the late '60s by a high level official with Planned Parenthood. You will notice some really interesting ideas included in the document.

“Fertility control agents in water supply”

“Eliminate Welfare payments after first 2 children”

“Encourage increased homosexuality”

“Compulsory sterilization of all who have two children except for a few who would be allowed three”

“Payments to encourage abortion”

The Jaffe Memo was proposed to the Population Council, a eugenics-based population control organization led by its first president, Frederick Osborn, who also served as the President of the American Eugenics Society. This was one of Planned Parenthood’s first attempts, after Margaret Sanger’s shenanigans, to reduce the minority population.

We also know that currently over 70% of Planned Parenthood facilities are located in low income, high minority communities. We also know that more than 50% of African-American pregnancies end in abortion. We know that Planned Parenthood has dumped tons of money into “Promotora” programs that go into Latino communities and convince them that Planned Parenthood is the ONLY place they can go for health care. And now, they are targeting these same communities for the dangerous Gardasil vaccine.

I mean, am I crazy? How is it that rational people can’t see what Planned Parenthood is doing here? I’ve never been of the belief that Planned Parenthood operates solely out of racism, but strictly sees money-making opportunities and goes for them. Unfortunately, it’s typically at the expense of minority women.

The fact of the matter is that this will continue to happen until these minority communities wake up to the realization that Planned Parenthood is USING them to pad their pockets. They don’t care about health care for minorities.

Planned Parenthood’s only goal deals with making money off of you! This will not stop until people stand up to this abortion giant and say, “NO MORE.” It will take these Black and Hispanic women to simply say, “We will not be used. We will not be your pawns. We will no longer be lied to. We are better than Planned Parenthood.”

Kris Ford, an African-American woman who runs Women’s Health and Justice Initiative, said it better than I can. “Planned Parenthood has ignored the voices of women of color and the organizations that women of color lead for years. Planned Parenthood continues to raise large sums of money off of issues of reproductive justice while framing the issues as a binary that leaves out the experiences of women and communities of color.” It’s time to do something about it. Stop buying the lie”.

**The original article was published by LifeSiteNews.com. Any reproduction or quotation from this article must give appropriate credit and sourcing to their website.

I helped so many women abort their babies. Now how do I live with that?

I spent eight years of my life with Planned Parenthood, so as you could imagine I have many memories of my time there. Some of those memories are good, some are not. Nonetheless, those memories are there packed away in my mind. It’s easy to forget them. I have forgotten so much about my time there in just four and a half short years.

I found my old business card the other day. That is a tangible memory for me. It made me think of the day that I heard I had been promoted to direct the clinic. I was so happy, hugging and jumping up and down with my supervisor. She was so proud of me.

I reflected on the day I moved everything into my new, big office. I put pro-choice stickers all over my filing cabinet. I called my parents to share the news. They were, of course, proud of me, but hated my work. I can’t imagine how conflicted they were in their minds and hearts.

Human resources sent me my new paperwork. There was my new title, along with my new and amazing salary. A few days later, my new business cards arrived. I remember placing them in my new business card holder on my desk. I filled up the business card holder that I kept in my purse. I had already become used to hearing myself say my new title.

Abby Johnson business card Planned Parenthood

I was proud of myself. I was proud of the hard work I had put in to earn that new title. I worked so many hours, sacrificing so much of my time with my family. But, I knew it would all be worth it, especially now that I had my new job title to prove it.

I remember proudly passing out my new business cards to anyone that would take one. Being pro-choice wasn’t only a movement to me, it was a lifestyle. I fully embraced that lifestyle and loved being a part of it.

These tangible reminders that I occasionally find are sometimes hard to work through. I remember receiving the records from my medication abortion. That tangible reminder of my past was difficult to manage.

I look at my “Employee of the Year” award that I received from Planned Parenthood and ruminate on the night I received it. I ended up deciding to place that old award on my desk as a reminder of where I came from and how much my life has changed. Seeing that plaque no longer brings back those tangible memories.

One of the reasons I was so taken aback when finding my old business card was not just because it was a reminder of how proud I had been to run an abortion clinic, something I find deplorable now. I was taken aback because of all of the things I engaged in while I had that big title.

I remember handing women small monetary checks to pay for their silence after we had left them with a serious infection after their abortion. The memories of watching women bleed out on our abortion table and being instructed not to call the ambulance because we didn’t want to let the pro-lifers know that we had a medical emergency. The memories I have of “joking” about the babies that died in our facility by abortion. The memories I have of training our abortion facility employees on the “normalcy” of abortion and how to convince women that abortion is the best choice for them.

Part of being a former abortion clinic worker is learning how to deal with your past sins. The woman that came to your clinic for an abortion could also be the familiar face that you bump into at the store. It could be standing in front of your former abortion facility and remembering all of the damage your thoughts, words, and actions caused so many women. It could be finding that old business card that reminds you of the pride you felt when you became the director of an abortion facility.

People ask me all the time, “How do you live with your past?” My answer is silly, but it’s a true story. It’s my story.

One day I was watching the kid’s movie “Kung Fu Panda” with my daughter. In the film there is a wise, old tortoise named Oogway.  He is talking to one of his students who is frustrated with his current situation. Oogway asks his student, “Do you know why today is called the present? Because it is a gift.”

That little line by an animated tortoise hit me like a ton of bricks. Today is a gift. There is absolutely nothing we can do with our past. There is very little we can do to control our future, or if there is a tomorrow for us in this life. All there is for us is the present. We live NOW. We serve NOW. We choose to move on from our past NOW.

I don’t know what your past sins are. I don’t know how frequently you are reminded of them. However, as someone who has to face their past sins on a frequent basis, almost daily, I can tell you that you can be free from their burden. Past sins do not have to be a source of constant grief.

You have been given the opportunity to transform your past into something positive. Maybe you could help others make different choices than you did. Maybe you could help others heal from the same struggles that you lived through. I don’t know what you are being called to do, but as the saying goes, “God can turn our mess into a message.”

Carrying around past burdens doesn’t help us in any way. Sometimes you may remember the person that you were and the decisions that you made, but you can thank God for pulling you out of it each time it comes to mind. Count your blessings daily.

Just know that you can be forgiven. Accept that forgiveness. Use your life to help others. The present is indeed a gift.

**The original article was published by LifeSiteNews.com. Any reproduction or quotation from this article must give appropriate credit and sourcing to their website. 

After Tiller

For the past few days, I have received message after message of requests for me to discuss my thoughts on PBS airing the abortion supporting documentary “After Tiller.” I hadn’t decided if it was worth addressing because I truly don’t want to give it any more attention.

As it turns out that I do have a few things worth mentioning. In fact, I watched “After Tiller.” It is very well done. The producers did a great job of captivating the audience quickly. The movie is, as to be expected of Hollywood, sympathetic to the abortion movement. Honestly, if you’re not careful, you could totally forget about that part and find yourself struggling with misguided sympathy. So, that’s my first word of advice.

If you watch this documentary, guard yourself. I don’t discourage anyone from watching it, but you want to be careful not to scandalize yourself or anyone you’re watching it with, so be cautious. I think it’s a good idea to listen to what our opposition is telling the public, and more importantly, what they are telling themselves.

Researching and understanding the mindset of the pro-choice side is a very important part of being a pro-life activist. However, remember what you are watching. The producers do a great job of turning these late term abortion providers into sympathetic heroes, heroes that risk their lives to perform these “lifesaving medical procedures.”

I mean, look what happened to Dr. George Tiller! He was gunned down in his own church by a crazed pro-lifer. They are risking their lives for women. They are threatened, hunted down, and harassed… all because they perform a legal medical procedure. At least that’s the message Hollywood wants you to hear. It’s certainly the message that you will hear if you don’t guard yourself.

You may read this and say, “Well, that’s not going to happen to me.” We are usually moved to changes in our thinking by SMALL messages that we hear over and over again. I was raised pro-life, but progressively changed over a period of time into becoming a pro-choice advocatee because of those small messages I heard.

Those messages were lies, and so is the message this documentary is trying to send to those willing to believe it, to be deceived by it. A lie can easily be disguised as truth. Be careful. Remember that these physicians abort babies. They are not heroes. On that note, here’s my second word of advice.

The reason this documentary was even able to be created was a direct result of the pro-life movement. Yes, you read that correctly. You see, we give them the material. A self-proclaimed pro-life person killed Dr. Tiller.

Self-proclaimed pro-lifers bomb abortion facilities. Self-proclaimed pro-lifers celebrated the deaths of abortionists. Self-proclaimed pro-lifers protested Dr. Tiller’s funeral with signs that said “Tiller rot in hell” and “Thank God Tiller’s dead.” I remember. I saw them with my own eyes.

We do it when we, as pro-lifers, call abortion providers “baby killers” and “murderers.” We do it when we use crazy, inflammatory language like “death chamber” and “slaughter house” when referring to abortion facilities. We make ourselves look weird. We become un-relatable. We fit the stereotype that pro-choicer advocates are SO desperate to stick on all of us.

As pro-life activists, we make it so easy for them to say, “Look. They are ALL like that.” In my mind, those who promote violence against abortion providers are NOT pro-life people. But my opinion doesn’t really matter. It’s all about perception.

We would do well to ask ourselves, “How are we perceived by our opposition?” Are we someone that an abortion minded woman or an abortion worker would trust to help them? Or have we become so verbally aggressive that they wouldn’t come near us? I am thankful every day that I had rational, kind pro-lifers to turn to in my crisis of conscience.

I realize that this can be a sensitive subject for some people. Some pro-lifers just have to hold on to that inflammatory language created by pro-lifers in order to somehow disrespect pro-choicer’s. The truth is, calling an abortion facility escort a “deathscort” is hilarious to them. Calling an abortion facility an “abortuary” cracks them up.

I remember when we were in meetings about the abortion facility we were constructing in Houston. My boss used to laugh and say, “Now remember, this will be the largest abortuary in the Western Hemisphere.” We would all laugh. We have made ourselves look like fools to them because we insist on using this dramatic language.

Maybe some people are okay with that. I am not one of those people. I sincerely hope for the conversion of each of these people. That is my goal. I want them to have conversions on the issue of life and eventually have conversions to Christ. In order to do that, they have to take me seriously when I talk to them. They have to understand that I genuinely care about them. That won’t happen if I’m mocking them.

Please understand that this doesn’t mean that I EVER water down the truth. If you follow me on Facebook, you know that is true. Nonetheless, I believe that when we speak truth, we must do so with charity, compassion, and benevolence. Otherwise, we become a clanging gong.

An important question to ask ourselves is, “Who are we doing this for?” Are we prolife because it makes us feel good? Are we pro-life because it’s a box we can check off? Are we pro-life because we like running pro-choice advocates into the ground and mocking them? Are we prolife because we are all about being right and winning an argument?

I hope not. I hope we are pro-life because we genuinely care about women, men, families, and babies. I hope we are pro-life because we believe that women deserve better than abortion. Being prolife is not about being right. It’s not about winning an argument. Win an argument, lose a soul.

Christ died so that each of us could live the life He sacrificed for us, a life of holiness, of love, of mercy... He died so that all of us could have eternal life. He died for His enemies too, many of them converted with His prayers and love unending mercy on mankind. He is our example to live by in how to live our lives and to help others live theirs.

You can call someone a “baby killer” all day long. That will only repel them. It definitely won’t bring about a fruitful conversation. I didn’t think I was killing babies when I worked at Planned Parenthood. I didn’t think those terms related to me at all. I was blind. I didn’t see the truth that you see. It was far more effective to reach out to me with genuine care over name calling.

I admit that I’ve only been a pro-lifer for four and a half years, but I have been a student of this debate for 12 and a half years. I’m no expert on all things pro-life, but I know what worked for me, a person who was ENTRENCHED in the abortion lifestyle.

I also know what has worked for the 122 other former abortion facility workers who have come through our ministry, And Then There Were None. None of them decided to leave because someone called them names. Not one of them left because people yelled at them and told them that they were going to hell.

I remember once when someone was attempting to criticize me and they said, “Good grief, Abby. It’s like you think that if we love these baby killers enough, they will convert.” Yes, that’s kind of exactly what I believe.

Before I close, I want to make sure that you don’t fall for the misguided sympathy that these producers of this documentary are trying to guilt you into. I will, once again, describe a third trimester abortion below.

Since the ban on Partial Birth Abortion, abortionists have come up with a different method, and believe it or not, a more dangerous method.

When a woman comes in for a late term abortion, her cervix is dilated through the administration of one out of two medications called misoprostol (Cytotec) and Pitocin and/or Laminaria/Lamicel insertion. Laminaria is made up of sterilized seaweed that looks like tiny tampons. Lamicel is similar, but made up of a synthetic material.

The Misoprostol is taken by mouth prior to surgery and may take several hours to take effect. Misoprostol is a medication administered to relax the cervix muscle so that the surgeon can easily dilate it. Pitocin is also sometimes used to help with this process and is administered intravenously (IV).

If Laminaria or Lamicel is necessary to complete dilation, they must be inserted into the patient’s cervix by the physician prior to the abortion procedure. The Laminaria/Lamicel acts as a sponge by absorbing the moisture in the patient’s vagina, and expanding to gently open the cervix.

Laminaria/Lamicel and Misoprostol will be administered on day one. The physician on day one  will also administer a medication called Digoxin, which is injected into the amniotic fluid. The fetus will then drink in the Digoxin and will overdose in the womb. It can take up to 48 hours for death to occur. During this time, the mother may feel her child struggling to live inside of her womb.

On day two or three, the physician will perform the surgical abortion after the cervix dilation is complete—this may take several hours or overnight. The doctor will remove the Laminaria, if applicable, and insert a speculum into the vagina, and remove the unborn child using vacuum aspiration (suction), forceps, and curettes. The surgical procedure takes approximately 10 – 25 minutes. After the procedure, the mother is taken into the recovery room, where nurses will monitor her for approximately 45 minutes.

Now, that you have read that, remember that these abortionists are misguided. They are sinners, just like you and me. They are also REDEEMABLE. They are not our enemy. Our enemy is the sin of abortion. These lost souls are our brothers and sisters in Christ, should they choose to convert.

Let this be a reminder to pray for their conversion with increased fervor. If you don’t believe that these abortionists featured in “After Tiller” can experience a conversion, then you don’t know the same God I do. The God I serve is in the business of miracles.

Action item: Since PBS is paid for with our tax dollars and they are showing this on their “Point of View” program, then it only makes sense that they would show the opposing point of view related to “After Tiller.” We are asking that they show the awesome pro-life film “40” as part of their programming.

After all, PBS certainly doesn’t want to appear that they are being biased, right? Here’s what you do. Go to the PBS petition to broadcast the pro-life of the debate, and sign the petition. I also strongly encourage you to go to PBS’s website to let them know what you think of this decision. Make your voice heard.

I talked her into getting an abortion. And then I ran into her at the store.

I used to have a standard line that I would ask people if I thought I recognized them,, “Do I look familiar to you?”. I asked that question once a week, at least. It’s been four years since I have asked that question to anyone.

Four years ago, there was a woman in a store who I recognized.  I could tell that she recognized me as well, because every time we would pass each other she would give me a little smile.

Finally, I just asked, “Do I look familiar to you?”

She started laughing and said that I did look familiar, but she could not figure out where she had seen me before.  As soon as she started talking, it hit me. She had sat across from me at my desk at Planned Parenthood. I convinced her to get an abortion. I remembered her story vividly. She was crying. I was reassuring her by saying things like, “Just because a decision makes us cry, doesn’t mean it’s not the right decision.”

I remember that I was trying to get her out of my office. We had been talking for at least 45 minutes and that was way over my 15 minute maximum for “counseling.” I knew I must have a stack of charts waiting in my box outside. Finally, I pulled out the last card to hurry this thing along. I told her, “If you don’t have the abortion today, you won’t be able to come back to us for at least a week and it will be more expensive. You don’t want that, do you?”

Reluctantly, she said that she was ready to go back for the abortion. Good. My job was done. Every line was signed and every box was checked.

I was now, once again, staring this young woman in the face. I had left Planned Parenthood. I was pro-life. I was sorry that I had done that to her., but what do I say now? I panicked and said, “Well, who knows? Maybe I will see you around again.” Then, I rushed off, feeling ashamed.

I really hoped that would never happen again. However,, it did. It happened several times. Each time, I would look into the woman’s eyes and walk the other way. How could I face these women? My sins were staring back at me when I looked at them. I didn’t want to see it. It was too real.

As time progressed, these encounters occurred less often. We moved to a different town for my work and I rarely ran into anyone that I recognized from the clinic. Even if I did, I had more confidence to deal with it as it arose. I was more comfortable than before to tell them who I was and how I knew them. I was now quick to apologize for my part in their abortion. The more healing I experienced, the easier it became.

About six months ago, I received an email that I wasn’t expecting. In those few seconds my confidence was shaken. A young woman had come to my clinic when she was just 16 years old. Admittedly, I did not remember her. She told me her story through a message and I was heartbroken for her. She had gotten hooked on drugs, dealt with very serious depression, and even attempted suicide after her abortion.

She blamed me. “You told me I would feel fine after my abortion,” she said. I told her she wouldn’t have any regrets. But, she did. She told me that I caused her pain. While I read her email, I felt that pain. I also felt that shame that I hadn’t experienced in several years.

I think I read her email at least 50 times. Honestly, I thought about just deleting it, pretending that I never received it, but I knew I couldn’t do that. I had to respond. I had to apologize. After two days of discerning my response, I finally sat down to write.

I accepted the blame. I apologized at least 10 times in my first response. I didn’t try to make any excuses. I didn’t try to justify my words or actions. I just apologized, over and over again. After that, I offered help. This young woman, now in her early 20s, needed healing. We have now exchanged several conversations through email and phone. I was able to get her connected to a post-abortive healing ministry in her area. She is a different person. Due to her honesty, I am a different person.

Recently, I asked a few former abortion clinic workers a question, “If you could go back and say something to a woman who had an abortion in your clinic, what would you say?” The responses were somewhat varied, but all had the same theme. They would tell these women that they were sorry. They would apologize for lying, for misleading them.

So, here is that apology to any post-abortive woman reading this right now. I am sorry. I am sorry that we did not tell you the truth about abortion. I am sorry that you were deceived by people who you thought you could trust. I am sorry that we didn’t listen to you when you cried in our offices. I’m sorry that you were treated like a number and not the beautiful person that you are. I’m sorry for the pain you felt. I’m sorry for any regret that you felt or continue to feel because of our dishonesty.

As much as I wish I could change the past, I’m not able to. I can’t change the poor decisions that we have all made, but I can tell you that there are many of us who care about your healing. You don’t have to live with regret, pain, and shame.

If you haven’t yet, please take that first step and find help. Call your local pro-life group and ask about resources in your area.  The Catholic Church offers resources as well. Receiving the sacrament of reconciliation is a physical and spiritual healing that comes directly from Jesus. I have found freedom and healing from my past. You can find that freedom, too.

**The original article was published by LifeSiteNews.com. Any reproduction or quotation from this article must give appropriate credit and sourcing to their website.

Planned Parenthood is trying to secretly open this abortion clinic in Dallas. But pro-lifers found out.

“For all that is secret will eventually be brought into the open, and everything that is concealed will be brought to light and made known to all.” Luke 8:17

We have known for years that Planned Parenthood will do anything to get into our public school system, our churches, and even our neighborhoods. They will present themselves as a “medical organization” instead of saying they are with Planned Parenthood. And, when they want to open a new facility they will always use a secret identity, usually in the form of a newly formed LLC.

I have always questioned the secrecy, even when I was employed at Planned Parenthood. If we were so proud of our services, then why did we work so hard to hide them?

Several weeks ago, I was contacted by an amazing pro-life group, the Catholic Pro-life Committee of Dallas. They had learned some interesting and troubling news. Here is the report directly from them.

The Catholic Pro-Life Committee (CPLC) received information that Planned Parenthood applied for a license to operate an ambulatory surgical center (ASC) at 7989 West Virginia Drive, Dallas (formerly Specialty Surgical Services), across from Methodist Charlton Medical Center. The property records for this location show that the deed to the property was transferred to A Brooks Group LLC on January 30, 2014 with an appraised value of over 2.2 million dollars.

According to online corporate records, Aimee B. Boone is the sole managing member of A Brooks Group, LLC. Aimee Boone (now Aimee Boone Cunningham) is an officer of the Center for Reproductive Rights and recently served as Vice President of Development for Planned Parenthood of Greater Texas (formerly North Texas). She is the daughter of Cecilia Boone, board member of Planned Parenthood Federation of America (board chair, 2012-2013).

“So what now?” they asked. The only answer was to blow this open before Planned Parenthood had a chance to announce their new property. We all know that Planned Parenthood is at their weakest when they are on the defensive.

I only wish I could have been present when Planned Parenthood got the call from the first reporter. They had been exposed… and they weren’t ready.

Since the release of this new information, the Dallas pro-life community has been hard at work. They are already outside their new facility praying and holding signs to raise awareness to the surrounding medical community about the abortion clinic coming to their area.

During the first day of the peaceful prayer vigil, Planned Parenthood turned the sprinklers on them. Not a problem. It’s hot here in Texas anyway, we appreciate the cold water.

After the sprinkler fiasco, a physician from another non-abortion providing facility came out to ask what they were doing. He was very concerned that these prayer warriors may interfere with his business. They kindly told him that they would be there EVERY DAY now that Planned Parenthood was opening an abortion facility.

He said that he had an “obligation to his patients,” to which they replied, “We have an obligation to the victims of Planned Parenthood.”

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Pro-life activists protest outside the planned abortion facility in Dallas. Catholic Pro-life Committee of Dallas

I applaud CPLC for their proactive approach to this problem. The best way to keep these centers out of our communities is to expose them for what they stand for, what they areare. They are cCorrupt. and d They are dirty. Thesey are not the people youthey want as your neighbors.

CPLC is doing active community outreach to the medical professionals in the area to inform them about Planned Parenthood and their unsavory practices. The group isy are holding community -wide events in an attempt to educate those in the local community.

Here is more directly from CPLC and their director, Karen Garnett.

An initial prayer vigil will take place on Saturday, August 16, 2014 at 10 a.m. on the public right of way outside 7989 West Virginia Drive, followed by a community meeting.

Planned Parenthood currently commits abortions through the first 15 weeks of pregnancy at one location in Dallas, 7424 Greenville Avenue. The fourth provision of the new Texas law (HB 2), requiring that all abortion facilities meet the safety standards of an ambulatory surgical center, is scheduled to go into effect on September 1, 2014. There has been no visible indication that Planned Parenthood on Greenville Avenue is modifying its facility to meet these requirements. Apparently unwilling to lose its profitable 'hold' on Dallas, Planned Parenthood is reportedly planning to open this new South Dallas location -- already outfitted as an ASC, where it will be able to commit abortions through five months.

“'The South Dallas medical community, devoted to promoting health and saving lives, should not be forced to accept the heinous business of abortion right outside their doors, let alone through five months of pregnancy,' said Garnett. 'One has to wonder at the sad irony of pregnant mothers arriving at the nearby Methodist hospital for the joyous arrival of their babies, while Planned Parenthood takes advantage of mothers in need with the false 'hope' of abortion.”'

We have seen amazing things happen in Texas this past year. We have had a record number of abortion facility closures. We have had abortionists lose licenses because of their inability to uphold the law. We have seen an unprecedented amount of “saves” on the sidewalks outside abortion facilities. As of September 1st, we will have just seven (including this new facility) abortion facilities in the state.

The end of legalized abortion in Texas is coming soon. Let this all all of this be a lesson to us to remain vigilant in our pro-life efforts. Just because we experience successes does not mean that we should take it for granted and can become complacent.

Thank you to CPLC and the prolife community in Dallas for being observant and exposing this.

Planned Parenthood is of course bragging that they will run the majority of the abortion facilities that will remain open after September 1st. Hmm. Didn’t they say they wanted abortion to be safe, legal, and rare? I guess they were just kidding.

*The original article was published by LifeSiteNews.com. Any replication or quotation from this article must give appropriate credit and sourcing to their website. 

This is precisely how a late abortion is performed: now, tell me about the ‘right to choose’

I realize this post will not be pleasant to read, but I feel it is necessary, especially if we are to fight this battle with facts. I find that most people, on both sides of this debate, don’t actually know how abortion procedures are performed. Showing someone a picture is one thing, but actually describing the process, in detail, of what happens to the woman and her baby during these hours seems to really have an impact on even those who claim to support abortion.

Ever since the ban on partial-birth abortion, abortionists have come up with a different method. Believe it or not, it’s an even more dangerous method. There are currently fewer than 10 physicians in the country that will perform a late abortion procedure.  Out of that small handful, most stop performing abortions at 32 weeks. There is one abortionist, Dr. Warren Hern in Boulder, Colorado, who performs them up until birth.

The following description is of an abortion generally performed after 19 weeks gestation. I have worked firsthand with several of these late abortion providers and know many women who have undergone this procedure.

Let me start by saying that this is not an open door to condemn these women who have chosen a late-term abortion. We need to pray for them to find true healing so that they can move past the regret that they feel after making this decision. It should also not be an opportunity to condemn the physicians who perform this procedure or the other abortion clinic workers who may participate.

Just as I have personally experienced, all people are capable of conversion. We need to pray for their conversion and pray that they will reach out to pro-lifers who will help them make that transition, but we need to make ourselves available to them when that moment comes. Otherwise, if we stand to condemn them they will not reach out to us for help.

For more information about how you can reach out to abortion workers, please visit And Then There Were None.

After a woman comes in for a late-term abortion, her cervix is dilated through the administration of one of two medications, Misoprostol (Cytotec) and Pitocin and/or Laminaria/Lamicel insertion. Laminaria are made of sterilized seaweed and look like tiny tampons. Lamicel are similar, but made of a synthetic material. The Misoprostol is taken orally prior to surgery and may take several hours to work. Misoprostol is a medication administered to relax the cervical muscle so that the surgeon can dilate it easily. Pitocin is also sometimes used to help with this process and is administered through an I.V.

If Laminaria or Lamicel is necessary to complete dilation, they must be inserted into the patient’s cervix by the physician prior to the abortion procedure. The Laminaria/Lamicel act like sponges by absorbing the moisture in the patient’s vagina and expanding to open the cervix.

Laminaria/Lamicel and Misoprostol will be administered on day one. Also, on day one, the physician will also administer a medication called Digoxin. This medication will be injected into the amniotic fluid. The fetus will then drink in the Digoxin and will overdose in the womb. It can take up to 48 hours for death to occur. During this time, the mother may feel her child struggling as he/she dies in her womb.

D&E late-term abortion

When the woman leaves the abortion facility on the first day, she is sent home with a “delivery kit” just in case she goes into labor at the hotel. This kit includes towels, scissors to cut the umbilical cord, and a biohazard waste bag that she could put her baby and placenta in.

It doesn’t happen very often, but there is always a chance that she could deliver the baby early. In this case, she is instructed not to go to the emergency room. She is told to call the abortion clinics on-call nurse who will come to the hotel and assist her during the delivery.

On day two or three (depending on how quickly the baby dies), the physician will perform the surgical abortion after dilation of the cervix is complete — this may take several hours or overnight. The doctor will remove the Laminaria (if applicable), insert a speculum into the vagina, and remove the unborn child using vacuum aspiration (suction), forceps, and curettes.

The woman is usually sedated so that she is unconscious during the actual abortion. The nurses and technicians will physically push on her belly to help the physician pull the pieces of the baby out. The surgical procedure takes approximately 10 – 25 minutes.

After surgery, the mother is taken into the recovery room where nurses will monitor her for approximately 45 minutes. She is sent home with several medications including anti-nausea medication, narcotics for pain relief, at least two different antibiotics, a medication that will contract the uterus to stop bleeding, and anything else the physician deems necessary.

The woman is not required to follow up with the physician. She is asked to follow up with a different physician in her area. If she has complications, the abortion facility will in almost all cases refer her to the emergency room.

The Guttmacher Institute states that approximately 13,000 babies die this torturous death. Most abortion supporters will argue that these babies have terminal illnesses anyway, so this is a better option. However, increasing numbers of former abortion clinic workers are coming forward and stating that the majority of these babies aborted were perfectly healthy with no illnesses.

I personally have medical records from several women who now regret their decision to have a late-term abortion. The “medical” reason stated for their abortions was the same, “patient is not prepared for a child.” Last I checked, being unprepared for the birth of a child is not a medical condition. Unfortunately, this is the result of bills being passed that include a “health of the mother exception.” The “health” of the mother is entirely subjective and can be determined by the abortion staff.

All abortion is heinous. As difficult as it is to endure the details of abortion, we as pro-lifers know that all babies have equal humanity, regardless of their age. We must fight to save all of them.

**The original article was published by LifeSiteNews.com. Any reproduction or quotation from this article must give appropriate credit and sourcing to their website. 

I am proudly a no-exceptions pro-lifer. But I wasn’t always.

Abby Johnson , Abortion , Planned Parenthood

I stand firmly and proudly as a no-exception’s pro-lifer.

However, this hasn’t always been the case. Admittedly, I used to accept the rape/incest exception.

My opinion began to change as I encountered people who had been conceived in rape and realized that their lives deserved the same protection as mine. I developed the understanding that how a child was conceived had no bearing on their humanity. I also began to understand and reflect on a strange irony… actually two of them.

When a woman is raped, the police are able to use the fetal tissue for DNA. When I worked for Planned Parenthood, in most rape cases, we were asked to draw two tubes of the mother’s blood and collect the “products of conception” after the abortion. All of this had to be kept in a very strict “chain of custody.”

For example, if I was the one in charge, I would be the one to draw the woman’s blood before the abortion, put the tubes in a “chain of custody” bag, fill out the information on the bag, seal it up, and place it in the refrigerator. Then, when she went in to the abortion room, I would accompany her into the room, stand by the suction machine, and wait for the procedure to be completed.

The jar that contained the “products of conception” would then be handed to me and I would take the jar into the lab. I would then “float” the “products of conception” in a Pyrex dish.

“Floating” is the process of dumping all of the contents into a kitchen strainer and using a sprayer to wash all of the blood and additional tissue away from the “product of conception.” In order to “float” the tissue, you spray some water into the Pyrex dish and dump the remaining tissue into the dish. The tissue actually floats. Then, you will be able to reassemble the fetal parts.

After all of the parts were reassembled, and accounted for, I would gather them up and placeput them in a sterile cup, careful to en make sure everything made itgot into that cup and I didn’t leave anything behind. Then, I would close up the cup, put it in the “chain of custody” bag, fill out the information on the bag, seal it up, and carefully place the bag in the freezer.

Usually, the police department would come and pick up the blood tubes and frozen tissue the next day. They would have us fill out a form to ensure the “chain of custody” had not been broken. We would carefully pack the items into a Styrofoam cooler with an ice pack and send them off with the officer.

First strange irony is: Collecting fetal tissue and sending it for DNA testing. Yet, we didn’t consider that child to be a separate person! As strange as it sounds, that was the truth. We knew that this fetus had its own DNA, but denied its humanity.

Second strange irony is: These are the rape-conceived children. These are the “exceptions.” These are the ones that many pro-lifers can excuse, right? It seems ironic that so many in the pro-life movement can justify the death of children conceived in rape, but the abortion industry does their best to protect their remains.

Is their humanity somehow different? Can you look at the ultrasound picture of a baby conceived in rape and tell that this baby is somehow different? Could you look in the face of a person conceived in rape and tell them that their life wasn’t as valuable as someone who was conceived in love? Could you even tell the difference between a person conceived in rape and one conceived otherwise?

I encourage anyone who accepts these exceptions to really think about your perspective on this.  Are you willing to toss out these children for political gain?

Did you know that 87% of pro-life legislation is passed without these exceptions? And did you know that when exceptions are incorporated into bills, it is almost always by organizations and individuals who, while often really pro-life, misguidedly think they have to add the exceptions to get the bill passed.

What if your best friend or relative had been conceived in rape? How would you explain your acceptance of these exceptions to them? Many people try to use the "burning building" argument when defending these exceptions.

They ask me, "If a building was on fire and you could only save 9 out of 10 people, would you just let them all burn because you couldn't get to them all?" My answer is that I'm out here trying to prevent the fire so that no one has to be left behind.

As people who believe in the sanctity of human life, let us not be selective with whom we fight to save. If any human life is worth saving, then all human life is worth saving.

 

*The original article was published by LifeSiteNews.com. Any reproduction or quotation from this article must give appropriate credit and sourcing to their website. 

Our Five Surprises After Abortion

Ashley

Recently, there has been an explosion of women sharing their personal abortion experiences as part of a new self-described "pro-VOICE" movement. The stated goal of this campaign is to shift the focus from debating the legality of abortion or discussing whether abortion is right or wrong, to sharing stories from individuals who offer an intimate look at life after abortion.

One example is an article that was recently published by Upworthy. In an attempt to paint abortion as a positive experience, the woman in the article said that she was "surprised" by several things that have happened after her abortion.  There are many women who now suffer because of their abortion and we felt like our voices needed to be heard as well.

Here are those five voices.

Abby

They say the very best gift you can give to your child is a sibling. So, what's the worst gift? I think it's deliberately ending the life of one of their siblings. That's what I did, twice... by legal abortion.

As a person who speaks about my own abortion experiences publicly, it has of course prompted questions from my daughter who is 7 years old. I have three other children, but they are too young to understand.

One day in the car, my daughter (out of nowhere) asked if someday she would be able to see her siblings in Heaven. I asked her what she meant. Honestly, I was hoping that she was not talking about my own two abortions.

She said that she knew I had two abortions and she wanted to know if she would ever get to meet those babies because she said, "in my heart, I miss them." I never knew I would pass that sort of heartbreak on to my children.

When I had my abortions, I never thought about how it would affect others. I didn't think about my future children. I never thought about how I would have to explain my selfishness to them.

My abortions live in me, and unfortunately, they live in them.

Abby Johnson

Founder, And Then There Were None

Author, unPlanned: The true story of a former Planned Parenthood leader's eye-opening journey across the life line

Jewels pregnant

Finding out I was pregnant initiated a seismic shift in my life: I quit drugs and I started taking care of myself. I hoped for a better future, for myself and for my baby. All of that changed after my abortion 25 years ago.

Within days I was consumed by overwhelming grief and intractable guilt, and attempted suicide. After spending a month in a psychiatric unit to recover, I worked in an abortion center for five years in an attempt to assuage my guilt, normalize my trauma, and rationalize away my pain.

I wandered through life trying to fill the void where my baby should have been. Academic and career pursuits, moves to different states, marriage(s)--nothing satisfied me until I started speaking out about the anguish and regret I felt (and still feel) from my abortion.

Accepting responsibility for my son's death and allowing myself to truly grieve has led me closer to inner peace. Sharing my story, writing and speaking publicly about how abortion can wound women (also men, grandparents, and siblings) has helped me to connect with people who are seeking to heal too, and to share insight with those who hope to provide it.

I'll never be the young idealist trying to turn her life around I was when I found out I was pregnant. I'll also never again be the stricken, self-sabotaging, guilt-ridden, broken woman I was for years after my abortion. Grief can be overpowering, but it can also be transformative. I am a different person because of my abortion, but only because I survived the dark decades-long aftermath and now stand in the light.

Jewels Green

Former abortion clinic worker, mother, writer, convert

 

beatrice baby

My first abortion was the father’s choice. The second time, the devil whispered in my ear that abortion would “save” my child from his abusive father.

For years, I lived with self-hatred and contradictory emotions. I told myself that one day I would have children when the time was right, when I’m with the right guy, et cetera.

Shortly after I married I began having obsessive thoughts such as “Pregnancy means choice, choice means abortion.” I was in the ideal situation to have children, but I was traumatized by the past. When I became pregnant, I had to share my pregnancy/abortion history and I was ashamed. Were the doctors and nurses judging me? It was a dreadful time.

I was feeling unworthy to carry a “wanted” child. Every evening, my husband would find me curled up in a chair, crying. This went on until I sought help and took antidepressants. When our son was born I wanted to love him, but I was feeling detached. I had nightmares where I would hurt him with knives and say, “It’s OK, he can’t feel anything,” or he would drown and I couldn’t save him.

Ever since beginning the healing process and sharing my story I have spoken to dozens of women about this. It strikes me that many who were able to conceive after an abortion either couldn’t bond with their children or lived in constant fear that someone was going to take them away. This is not emotionally healthy.

Abortion impacts us long after we leave the clinic. We can’t suppress motherhood now and start again when the stars are aligned. Women deserve choices they can live with.

Béatrice Fedor

Member of the Silent No More Awareness Campaign

Blog: 400 Words for Women

ashley talk

When I was 22 years old, I thought that having an abortion would be the best option for me. Society convinced me that there was nothing good that would come from an unplanned pregnancy, especially for a college student.

They echoed that if I wasn't ready to be a parent that this was "the most loving thing" I could do. They even said that most women felt relief afterwards. That sure wasn't the case for me. The following year would be my rock bottom.

I tried committing suicide three times, withdrew from friends and family, and I was basically high all of the time to stay numb inside. After seeking help for most of these issues, except for the abortion, I felt much better.

When I got married I became pregnant again. This time I was so excited that I ran to the store and bought almost every book about my developing baby! It was then that I was struck with absolute grief and horror about what I had done just a few short years earlier.

My baby was able to move, kick, and suck his thumb?! No one told me that! My baby could respond to touch by just 7 weeks?! No one told me that! So, while I was joyful to be pregnant, I was also grieving the loss of my other child. 

Now, my son is 4 years old. Sometimes, I look at his sweet face and wonder what features my other child would have had. I still have dreams about holding him or her and it makes me so deeply sad to think that I have robbed my son of a sibling.

You might be thinking, “Why not just try and conceive a sibling for him today?” Well, I would love to, but my husband and I have been struggling with infertility for two and half years. I never once dreamed that I wouldn't be able to conceive when I wanted to!

Every night my sweet boy prays to God for a sibling and every time I hear those precious prayers my heart aches over what I did. Because, in retrospect, an abortion isn't an easy fix or a solution to a problem, it is the problem, and it leaves a lasting effect on generations to come.

Ashley Granger

Wife, mother, sonography student

brice kid

No one ever even knew I was pregnant. As soon as those two lines appeared I interrupted Poker Night to share the news with my rock star boyfriend. Five words would change my life: “We’ll take care of it.”

I was surprised at how easily I opened the Yellow Pages to the very front and entered the first number I found under the heading “ABORTION.” Assuming that fulfilling my boyfriend's wish would guarantee a happy future for us I was surprised that the after-effects of the abortion were what tore us apart. I was devastated to find myself so empty and broken, and so absolutely alone.

After suffering silently for over a decade I was surprised to find that the very people whom I tried to hide my guilt and shame, the closest people in my life, were the ones who comforted me when I finally confessed my abortion to them. These people that I adore bombarded me with forgiveness and admitted their own grief that I didn’t come to them for help in my darkest and most difficult situation.

Most of all, I’m surprised to find the lack of choices presented to vulnerable pregnant women. Only one choice was presented to me and it was the most painful choice I’ve ever made.

Brice Griffin

Founder, Charlotte Center for Women

Guest Post from Claire Culwell

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As many of you know, Claire Culwell is one of my closest friends.  Claire survived an abortion, her twin did not.  She recently found out the name of the abortionist who attempted to take her life and decided to write him a letter.  Claire now works for my ministry, And Then There Were None

It is our sincere prayer that Dr. Patel will one day be a part of our growing organization of those who have left the abortion industry.  She mailed this letter to Dr. Patel last week.  It arrived on Monday. Her letter is below.

" Dear Dr. Patel,

I am writing with a heavy heart. I recently discovered you in the news due to the violations your abortion clinic has made. I found that I have a closer connection to you than I thought.

In 1988, my 13-year-old birth mother placed herself in your care to perform her abortion…her 20-week abortion. She was assured that the abortion would fix her problem and that her life would return to normal but it didn’t. When she returned to see you, she was informed that the abortion had been successful, in part, but she was still pregnant as she had actually been pregnant with twins but had been misinformed. She was also told that during the abortion the amniotic sac had been ruptured, thus leaking fluid for weeks. This proposed many complications for my birth mother. Due to the botched abortion, I was born 2.5 months premature with many lifelong complications.

As I read your medical practice history, I found my testimony consistent with many of your other former patients. My birth mother was 13. She was young and naïve; she would be easy to manipulate and lie to. She didn’t know any better. Due to the abortion that was botched, my birth mother has suffered 26 years of hardship and regret. I can only imagine the things that may have happened that she feels like she can’t speak about...things that other women are confessing that you did to them while in your care.

However, she was not the only one affected by the failed abortion. My life, my family’s life, and my children’s lives would all eventually be effected by one “mistake” or one “botched abortion” that was performed so long ago. Not only was I born 2.5 months premature but I was born with complications including dislocated hips, club feet, and was on life support in the hospital. I went through multiple casts on my feet, a harness on my hips to prepare for surgery and body casts in order to correct what the abortion had done to my body. In fact, I still have hip and foot complications today due to the abortion. The unfortunate part is that I am not alone. Hundreds of other survivors of abortions are speaking up letting the world know that we ARE children, we DO deserve a chance at life and that abortion is, clearly, NOT SAFE.

I spent 21 years of my life wondering if I had a sibling that was missing. I felt it in my heart. My birth mother confirmed my questions when she told me about her abortion when I met her. Realizing that you have lived your entire life without your twin is a harsh reality.However, the hardest part for me is realizing that you took my daddy’s only son from him. His life would have been even more full and joyful had he had his son who would carry on his family name and do the things he loves with him—hunt and fish. Because of the selfishness that abortion has brought to us today, our family will remain incomplete and I mourn the amazing adventures my daddy is missing with my brother.

In February of 2013, another miracle happened… My daughter was born! I can’t help but think about how she wouldn’t be here if the abortion had been successful on my life. She has only been here for a short time but she has touched so many lives with her fun-loving personality. I can’t help but wonder how many children are missing because their mothers were misinformed by you and told that the best decision, or even the only decision, was abortion.

Dr. Patel, I write to not only shed light on the reality of the severe aftermath that can happen when abortions are performed but to also express my forgiveness to you for what happened. I have lived a full life and been well loved in my 26 years of life despite my circumstances. I was adopted into an incredible home that gave more grace and forgiveness than I ever could have asked for. In the same way I have been forgiven by God for many things, I choose to forgive you. I forgive you for performing the abortion in 1988 and for the enormous impact it has had on my birth mother and me.

I also pray for you. I pray that you are able to see past the medicine, the money and your usual way of life… and that you will remember my face (and my daughter’s who would not be here had the abortion been successful) as you go to perform abortions. I pray that as you remember my face that you will be moved in such a way to walk away from the abortion practice and use your gifts outside of the industry. I assure you that many of us, myself included, would help you leave the industry and be encouragers and supporters to you. I would welcome you with open arms because I fully believe your life and what you do with your life is just as valuable as every single unborn child that I advocate for. I will continue to pray for you and your past and current patients.

 Sincerely,

Claire Culwell "